Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Student Life

17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

Madison Zegarlowicz

Sep 24, 2018

University of Michigan

164

17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Madison Zegarlowicz

As 21 approaches, I'm both scared for what's to come and incredibly excited for new experiences. Twenty-one is a big deal, but with that comes college graduation, full-blown adulthood, and the big, wide world. Before that can happen, though, we must reflect on high points, mistakes, and just plain "What the f*ck was I thinking?!" moments.

Here are 21 lessons for 21 years, brought to you almost always by too much alcohol.

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

Giphy

Don't text your ex. Don't assume that one more drink is okay. Just don't.

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

Giphy

I promise you, if you're up late, you might as well just scrap the idea of making it and start fresh next time. Take it from the girl who has had to give herself one too many morning pep talks.

3. He's not worth it

Giphy

He's not worth your tears or your wasted time waiting for him to become the good person you just know he can be.

4. No matter how cute he is

Giphy

Nope, still not worth it.

5. Know when it's time to walk away

Giphy

You deserve better.

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

Giphy

Honey, the temptation will still be there.

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

Giphy

No "I miss you," no "come over"... Nothing.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

Giphy

If they didn't want to support you, they wouldn't.

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

Giphy

College teaches you that more than anything else ever will.

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

Giphy

Yes, seriously.

11. But don't make a habit of it

Giphy

You'll regret it later.

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

Giphy

You can bug your friends to make sure they got home safe, be the DD, cook them dinner, whatever you do. They'll appreciate it, and no, you aren't weird for it.

13. Coffee is always the answer

Giphy

Sad? Coffee. Happy? Coffee. Stressed? Relaxed? Coffee.

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

Giphy

See moods above, and then add every other emotion. Wine can fix that.

15. Your mom should be your BFF

Giphy

Because when wine doesn't cut it, Mom's pep talks always do.

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

Giphy

Probably not, actually.

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

Giphy

Not yet, anyway.

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

12 Most Annoying Things About Working In Sales

No, I can't help you.

Oakland University

1241

Working with the public can be a job, in and of itself. Some people are just plain rude for no reason. But regardless of how your day is going, always having to be in the best of moods, or at least act like it... right?

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

Keep Reading...Show less

sales

Entertainment

11 Things That Happen When You Suffer From Resting B*tch Face

It's just my face, I swear.

Christopher Newport University

606

Hercampus.com

RBF, or resting b*tch face, is a serious condition that many people suffer from worldwide. Suffers are often bombarded with daily questions such as "Are you OK?" and "Why are you so mad?" If you have RBF, you've probably had numerous people tell you to "just smile!"

While this question trend can get annoying, there are a couple of pros to having RBF.

Keep Reading...Show less

rbf

Lifestyle

16 Things Blondes Are Tired Of Hearing

Please hold your blonde joke.

Rutgers University

535

Yify

Another day, another Elle Woods comment. Can’t us blondes get through the day without someone harping at us over the typical stereotypes about who we are? I never understood why a person was judged based upon the hair color they were born with, or the hair color they choose to have (unless you dye your hair blue like Kylie Jenner, I’m still trying to understand why that’s a trend). Nevertheless, as it should be assumed, not everyone is the same. Not all blondes like bright colors and Lilly Pulitzer, and not all blondes claim to identify with Marilyn Monroe. I think the best suggestion to give to people before they make such radical claims is to stop judging a book by its cover. Or in this case, stop judging a blonde by her hair color.

Keep Reading...Show less

blonde

Entertainment

A Year At JMU As Told By 'Bob's Burgers'

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

James Madison

1782

collegian.com

A year at JMU promises many great adventures. The journey of becoming a duke and learning what being a duke is all about is really exciting and a lot of fun. Of course, we all know that James Madison University is the greatest university in Virginia (perhaps even the entire country). There are many events and moments at JMU that are cherished and remembered by all dukes.

Keep Reading...Show less

bobs burgers

Recommended for you

17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

In This Article:

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

3. He's not worth it

4. No matter how cute he is

5. Know when it's time to walk away

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

11. But don't make a habit of it

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

13. Coffee is always the answer

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

15. Your mom should be your BFF

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

Subscribe to our Newsletter

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

Subscribe to our
Newsletter