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17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

Madison Zegarlowicz

Sep 24, 2018

University of Michigan

164

17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Madison Zegarlowicz

As 21 approaches, I'm both scared for what's to come and incredibly excited for new experiences. Twenty-one is a big deal, but with that comes college graduation, full-blown adulthood, and the big, wide world. Before that can happen, though, we must reflect on high points, mistakes, and just plain "What the f*ck was I thinking?!" moments.

Here are 21 lessons for 21 years, brought to you almost always by too much alcohol.

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

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Don't text your ex. Don't assume that one more drink is okay. Just don't.

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

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I promise you, if you're up late, you might as well just scrap the idea of making it and start fresh next time. Take it from the girl who has had to give herself one too many morning pep talks.

3. He's not worth it

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He's not worth your tears or your wasted time waiting for him to become the good person you just know he can be.

4. No matter how cute he is

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Nope, still not worth it.

5. Know when it's time to walk away

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You deserve better.

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

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Honey, the temptation will still be there.

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

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No "I miss you," no "come over"... Nothing.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

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If they didn't want to support you, they wouldn't.

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

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College teaches you that more than anything else ever will.

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

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Yes, seriously.

11. But don't make a habit of it

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You'll regret it later.

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

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You can bug your friends to make sure they got home safe, be the DD, cook them dinner, whatever you do. They'll appreciate it, and no, you aren't weird for it.

13. Coffee is always the answer

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Sad? Coffee. Happy? Coffee. Stressed? Relaxed? Coffee.

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

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See moods above, and then add every other emotion. Wine can fix that.

15. Your mom should be your BFF

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Because when wine doesn't cut it, Mom's pep talks always do.

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

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Probably not, actually.

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

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Not yet, anyway.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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17 Lessons For 21 Years, Brought To You By Tequila And Other Alcohol I Should Never Drink Again

Like vodka, and Bud Light, and, and, and...

In This Article:

1. Seriously, if it's after 2 a.m. just go to sleep

2. You can't stay up super late and still make it to that 8 a.m.

3. He's not worth it

4. No matter how cute he is

5. Know when it's time to walk away

6. Block his number, don't just delete it

7. If you don't block his number, you will want to text him at some point. Don't do it.

8. Your friends are there for a reason, so don't second guess their intentions

9. Some friends aren't forever, and that's OK

10. You're allowed to let loose every once in awhile

11. But don't make a habit of it

12. It's OK to be the "Mom" or the "Grandma" in the friend group

13. Coffee is always the answer

14. But sometimes (most of the time) wine is the answer too

15. Your mom should be your BFF

16. Mr. Right might not be found at a college frat party

17. You are still growing up, and don't need all of the answers

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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