Nine months ago I did something terrifying: I walked away from everything I knew, everything that was safe and comfortable, and took a chance on riding solo. For the last 248 days, I've focused solely on myself. I've laughed and cried. I've faced my fears and come out stronger on the other side. I've started to piece together the at-times-overwhelming jigsaw puzzle of who I really am. The funny thing is, I learned a lot about the world and other people in the process of finding myself. I've done some serious soul searching since I embarked on this journey. It's a scary thing to walk away from everything you've ever known. To embrace uncertainty and take a chance on being yourself.
Here's just some of what I've learned:
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1. Everything in moderation (including moderation).
If you want the cookie, have the damn cookie. Cheating on your diet once won't set you back that far.
2. Workout at least four times a week.
If you want the cookie (and the Beyoncé booty), you must also get your sweat on in the gym.
3. Not everyone has your best interest at heart.
Sometimes, people suck. Just because you'd give your all for them, doesn't mean they're on the same page.
4. Sometimes you just need to cry.
You don't have to have it all together all the time. If you need to cry, let it out. You'll feel so much better once you do.
5. Always wear lipstick.
Seriously, it'll make you feel like such a boss.
6. You're going to make mistakes.
7. More than once.
Hey, it's how you learn.
8. Once he's seen you naked, it doesn't really matter what you say.
Hookup homie is being rude? Call him out. Please don't bottle those feelings up.
9. That being said, just send the damn text.
You spend three hours agonizing over what to say, it takes him two seconds to reply. It's really not as big a deal as you make it in your head.
10. Do at least one thing that scares you every day.
Life is about facing your fears. Try something new.
11. The nights you barely remember are the best memories.
Drunkenly walking down the street to your latest Rihanna jam? All the yes. It doesn't matter if things are a little blurry come morning. That's what they made Snapchat for.
12. There are a lot of Mr. Wrongs on the way to Mr. Right.
Most of them have a killer smile, smooth lines and great hair.
13. Never underestimate the importance of "me time."
Read a book, cruise up the highway, binge-watch Netflix. Spend time with yourself.
14. But also never say "no" to an adventure with your friends.
Take the trip to the beach, drive to Canada for that concert. Make memories with the people who matter.
15. Others will hurt you.
See Number 3.
16. But you'll hurt others, too.
Most of the time it's unintentional, but own up to your mistakes.
17. You may do things you swore you never would.
That doesn't make it wrong. We're constantly evolving. Accept it and remain open to new possibilities.
18. Drink water.
Drink water when you're drinking alcohol. Drink water while you exercise. Drink water all day long.
19. Look before you leap.
Always, always, always take chances, but also take time to assess the situation. Make sure what you're putting your energy toward is worth it.
20. You can be a party girl and a successful workaholic.
Work hard, play hard.
21. You're so much stronger than you think.
Stop underestimating yourself. You'll fall down a million more times, but you always get back up.
22. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
There's a lot to be said for the old Golden Rule. Not everybody follows it, but those of us who do are better for it.
23. There is absolutely nothing that a glass of wine, Grey's Anatomy and a good jam session cannot fix.
Sometimes you've just got to dance it out.
24. Don't be so afraid to fail.
You weren't meant to be perfect. You may try something new and completely suck at it, but at least you gave it your best shot.
25. You create your own happiness in this world.
You choose the people you surround yourself with. You choose to embrace positivity or to drown in the negative. You decide whether or not you're happy with where you are in life. The energy you envelop yourself in is entirely up to you.
26. Nothing good ever comes from remaining silent.
Tell him how you feel. Tell her she made you mad. Be honest about how you feel and scream it from the fucking rooftops. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. Do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
27. Let go of the past.
You absolutely cannot change what happened yesterday.
28. Embrace the future.
But you can always do better tomorrow.
29. You are worthy.
Do not waste your time on people who do not value you. You are worthy of love and acceptance. You deserve to be treated with respect by the people in your life. Do not settle for less from others than what you would be willing to give to them.
30. Above all, love yourself first.
There is only one person that you have to spend twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year with and that's you. Your thoughts, your feelings, and your needs are just as important as anyone else's. Respect yourself, love yourself and always put yourself first.
