Since I was little, I was always raised to treat people with respect. I was taught not to talk back and that being polite was essential to making friends. You should always say please and thank you, and if you have a problem with someone it should be dealt with in private as to avoid making a scene and causing drama.

Often times I find that being polite to someone I don’t necessary like can cause more drama than being straightforward. It leads to words such as “fake” and “two-faced” being thrown around. So I guess I’m wondering where the line is drawn between politeness and fakeness.

Here’s how I see it: there is absolutely no point in calling someone out in public. Dong so is attention seeking. Nobody else needs to know about your drama. If you have a problem with someone, and you feel it needs to be address, be polite and civil in public if you have to interact with them and hash out your issues in a private, neutral, and safe setting with only the necessary parties.

Where I think the line gets blurry is when people start lying straight to a person’s face. For example, I can have a problem with someone and still engage in conversation, that’s what I see as being polite. However, you will never hear me say “No, I don’t have a problem with you!” or “Oh my god, I love you so much!” or anything of that sort and then continue to say something contradictory behind that person’s back. That’s counterproductive for both parties and that is when the terms fake and two-faced become appropriate.

Being polite to someone that you don’t like can take a lot of maturity, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I don’t struggle with it myself, but I also know my limits. If I feel like I’m not able to be civil around a person, I keep my distance. If I absolutely HAVE to be in a room with someone I don’t like, I keep the conversation to a bare minimum. I learned early on growing up that you’re going to have to interact with a lot of people that you want absolutely nothing to do with, and it shows a lot of character to be able to put aside your personal problems for the sake of everyone else in the room. Why is it fair that everyone else in the room has to feel uncomfortable because you can’t be mature? Hint: it’s not fair and it’s definitely something you should work on.

We were all taught at an early age how to be polite, and we still use the basics of those lessons everyday (at least I hope so), all it takes is a little maturity to extend this politeness to people who sometimes don’t deserve it, but that’s what growing up and being the bigger person is all about. Doing things for yourself and for the betterment of people around you, regardless of the circumstances of which the arise.