Our whole lives we have been told to use our words when we wanted something.

A kid took our toy and naturally we started to cry until an adult told us to use our words. But, even as adults we still have a hard time grasping this concept and at times, we may even want to shed a tear or two.

We think we don’t need to talk things over because we are adults and we shouldn’t have worries like kids do. Or, we may think to ourselves, “who will listen and who will even care?”

Or, when we do decide to talk, we tend to sugar coat things so that the other bystanders don’t get hurt.

We tell them, “it's me, not you” or “I just need to work on myself”, as a way to not hurt the other person.

We repeat the saying, “sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt me”.

Well, news flash,

It all hurts.

Whether or not we like to admit it, what others say, how they treat us both physically and mentally, affects us in some way or another.

So, how do we not get hurt?

Simply move on!

Right?

Wrong, because we are human.

We show emotions on our face and bear them on our heart and sleeves and though we don’t like to admit it, it’s a part of who we are. We pretend to be stronger than we actually are until someday someone says something that completely breaks down our walls until we feel completely and utterly vulnerable. And we may not like that because, for some of us, it shows that we are weak.

But it shouldn’t.

No matter how old we are, we have all gone through heartache and some sort of pain within our life. But, it’s how we survive the pain that shows who we truly are.

Just because you experienced pain does not make you weak, it not only makes you human, and it also makes you that much stronger and all the wiser.

Hurt and heartache don’t just appear in our lives because they can, but rather as a lesson. A lesson showing us that we are much stronger than we think we are and though we have been beaten down a couple of times, we will get back up because we can.

Because we are stronger than the pain and because we are better off without the person who caused it.

So how do we get through this pain?

A simple act of self-love.

My sorority’s motto is “All you have to be is you” where we encourage women to strip away from the idea of who they think they need to be, and instead to be truly themselves.

It is when we learn this concept of being ourselves, do we then begin to love who we are because we are surrounded by people who love us for this as well.

The journey of self-love can be a difficult one and has taken me some time to learn myself.

So some words of advice: start living each day for yourself and doing what makes you happy, because learning to love who you are is one of the most important lessons of life.