Lessons I Learned From Having A Fling With A "Bad Boy" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Lessons I Learned From Having A Fling With A "Bad Boy"

I am more than the cigarette between his lips, alcohol on his breath, and lies that rest on his tongue.

259
Lessons I Learned From Having A Fling With A "Bad Boy"
Tumblr.com

There are various male stereotypes a female can be involved with in the world of relationships—one being the traditional "bad boy" type. Even I, the "goody two-shoes," fell into the trap of one. Blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, and handsome. Who could blame me? His looks were everything a female young adult could ever hope for. However, his personality and traits were quite the opposite. This leads me to my top lessons learned from having a fling with a "bad boy:"

1. Never settle for less

First and foremost, if I have learned anything from being involved with a “bad boy,” it is to never settle for less. Upon meeting him, I was suffering from a heart-wrenching breakup, which led me to having poor cases of vulnerability and tolerance. I was vulnerable because I just wanted someone to fill the empty space in my heart. I was tired of hurting and thought having someone again could fix that. Oh, how wrong I was.

Tolerance was another story; the guy was no good for me and I knew it. He did not care for me nor my feelings in the least bit. He disrespected my morals, ignored me, ditched me, and walked all over me. However, I did not have true feelings for him, so I did the unthinkable: I let him. Just a few months later, I caught on and abruptly ended it sooner rather than later. How could I be so dumb? Loneliness should not be a gateway to settling for less, but instead finding peace in living life unaccompanied.

2. His lifestyle becomes my own

Secondly, while associating with a “bad boy,” I quickly learned that his lifestyle becomes my own. He was not a virgin—not that I judge this choice, I just was always committed to saving myself for marriage. He also was an avid smoker and drinker. All three involved habits I never wanted in a potential relationship, yet I let it slide. From the third time we hung out onward, he constantly had a beer in hand and excused himself to “have a smoky.” And although he did not entirely pressure me to have sex with him, there were occasional times where he touched me in a manner which implied what he wanted. Nevertheless, his lifestyle became an acceptable norm in my eyes. His drunken words, nicotine characterized kisses, and sensual hands were ordinary, rather than the extraordinary I once thought them to be.

3. I cannot change him

During my three months of involvement, I hoped he would change. I hoped he would wake up and realize he had someone to positively influence him. However, this was not the case. He was a 20-year-old male with not a care in the world. He was one who did not care to attend college, improve his part-time job, drop his poor habits, or make someone out of himself. The sad thing is, he had a lot of potential. He was outgoing, friendly, informative, and persuasive. These few wonderful traits diminish as he works part-time in the retail-like industry. He could truly be someone one day, yet he chooses to spend his evenings gaming, drinking, smoking, or all three. Truth be told, part of me hurts to see prospective traits and talents go to waste like that.

4. Talk means nothing when actions prove otherwise

“I’m sorry.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“I didn’t mean to ditch you.”

“I’m going to quit.”

“I care about you.”

All of these sentences were only talk; never were they an action. This is one thing I have learned about bad boys—they can talk a big game, but cannot follow up with action even if their life depends on it. I continuously gave out chances in hopes of seeing these words take flight, but in the end, all I got was nothing. That is when I began to realize he does not deserve me, nor do I deserve him.

5. He does not deserve me

I gave him my time, stuck with him, was there for him, cared about him, listened to him—you name it. Nevertheless, it was never enough. One day, I woke up and realized it was not worth it anymore. Why give when all he did was take? He took away my standards. He took away my dignity. He took away my forgiveness, and he threw them all away. I never truly realize how much power someone so low has to change someone higher until now. Lucky for me, I got out of the mess before he made someone truly different out of me. I am actually going somewhere with my life while he drinks, smokes, games, and sleeps his life away. While I work two part-time jobs and go to school full-time, he is on the sidelines wasting his life. I no longer wish to be a part of it. I am worth so much more than that.

Through these lessons, I begin to reflect on the person I have become and wish to be. I feel that surrounding ourselves with the wrong people may reveal our true character—whether it is good or bad. I may be a "goody two-shoes," but no "bad boy" will ever have the power to change that again. I am more than the cigarette between his lips, alcohol on his breath, and lies that rest on his tongue. I am worth more than he will ever realize, and that alone is enough to say one last goodbye.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times Michael Scott's Life Was Worse Than Your Life

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

2317
Michael Scott
NBC

Most of the time, the world's (self-proclaimed) greatest boss is just that, the greatest. I mean, come on, he's Michael Freakin' Scott after all! But every once in a while, his life hits a bit of a speed bump. (or he actually hits Meredith...) So if you personally are struggling through a hard time, you know what they say: misery loves company! Here are 15 times Michael Scott's life was worse than your life:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

16917
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

3620
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments