As there is more awareness and emphasis being placed on the fact that there are genders outside the gender binary and more than just two sexualities: heterosexual and homosexual. However, despite representation in the media and individual representation (such as Ruby Rose and Laverne Cox) many people do not understand the difference between sex and gender. The two are not interchangeable and have separate definitions. This distinction is important to note and realize not everyone's gender and sex are what you expect, or worse, assume them to be. Also, there are more sexualities that are important to recognize and understand how sexual and romantic attraction can co-exist are not one in the same. In an attempt to shortly sumise the all encompassing community of those of us who are not cis-gender, have placed ourselves out of the gender binary, and those who have sexualities other than the hetero/homo variety, here are some short definitions and explanations of each term you might have heard or have yet to hear! It's all about education, anyway, ya know? It's better to be educated and understanding rather than clueless and ignorant.
**These definitions will be going in alphabetical order**
First, I'll start with a word that I think nearly every generation has heard and that is androgyny. What does it mean to be androgynous? It is a form of gender expression that has elements of the feminine and the masculine. It is typical that you can't really point on defining trait about the individual's gender, they just seem to be fluidly designed as both. They can either express femininity or masculinity. Think 1970-80s Glam and Glitter Rock (David Bowie, Tilda Swinton anybody?) It is sometimes used in place of intersex to describe those that possess male and female anatomy, however, I personally am unsure of the accuracy of this. However, someone's identification as a human being is entirely their own.
Here is a YouTube video explaining androgyny.
Aromantic is probably a word you may have never heard of in your life. Your sexuality is usually simply defined by an individual's sexual attraction to other individuals. However, it is actually NOT that simple. Attraction runs much more deeper than just being sexually attracted to an individual. If you are aromantic, you experience little to no romantic attraction to anyone and have no real desire to be a romantic relationship with anyone. Reminder: it is okay to not be in a relationship. It does not make you broken. You are valid.
Have no desire for sex at all? You might be asexual. Asexuals experience little to no sexual attraction to other individuals. There is a spectrum of asexuality that determines how that individual's sexual attraction works. Sometimes, people may have a low sex drive or you have to wait a significant amount of time. Certain factors go into an individual who is asexual and how their sexual attractions, if any, work. Another term you may hear is ace. An ace individual is an asexual. Again, if you are an individual who does not experience sexual attraction, do not force yourself into a sexual relationship just because you think you might be broken. You are valid. There are other people like you. You are not alone.
**Here is a YouTube video explaining aromantic and asexuality.
Fluctuating between the two established gender binaries? Maybe even establishing yourself as an individual outside the gender binary as well (using they/them pronouns, etc)? That is bigender. A bigender individual fluctuates between genders, gender based behaviors, and activities. These individuals identify fully with both genders, and in some cases, a third, possibly more androgynous, gender.
Here's a definition that I didn't think I'd have to define, but it's better to have a good clarification and understanding of every definition so no one becomes offended and it is easy to understand how to identify those who are transitioning. A person's biological sex is a medical term that refers to the assigned chromosomal, hormonal, and anatomical characteristics that define individuals as either male or female at birth. This is specifically defined as sex assigned (or designated) at birth. This is important to remember. Especially for those who are transition from one gender to another. Their sex assigned gender is one that they are uncomfortable with.
Often sarcastically defined as a girl's experimental college phase, bisexuality, despite the stigma surrounding it, is a legitimate sexuality in which an individual is attracted to both male and female genders (sex assigned). No, they are not confused. No, they are not gay if they are in a same sex relationship, and they are not hetereosexual if they are in an opposite sex relationship. They are not whores, and no, they do not want a threesome. Bisexuality is valid and is often erased from the LGBTQIA community as a fake sexuality. Even if you end up in either a hetereosexual or homosexual relationship, you're bisexuality is still valid. You are still attracted to both genders. Don't let people convince you that you are one way or the other. You are bisexual, you are both, you are valid.
Biological sex is also defined as cisgender. If you are cis, it means you align with your biological, or at birth, sex. If the person is not trans, they are cisgender. Easy peasy.
Cisnormativity. The enemy? No, simply the institutionalized societal assumption that there are only two genders, and the gender that you were born as is your sole identity for the rest of your life. This type of thinking leads to the erasure and invalidation of those who identifiy outside the gender binary, do not identify as cisgender, and those who are transgender.
Demisexual is most certainly a sexuality that many people have not heard of. I also personally identify with this one. It opened my eyes to the way I feel about indviduals when I found out about this specific sexuality. A demisexual only experiences sexual attraction with an individual unless they have formed a strong, emotional connection with them. Many people may assume, "Well, isn't this everybody?" Speaking my personal view, you literally cannot have sex with them unless there is an emotional bond. You don't even think about sex or want it with that individual until there is a strong bond. This often happens within a romantic relationship.
**Here is a YouTube video about demisexuality.
I have mentioned this throughout this article without actually defining it, until now, just for clarification. The gender binary is the idea that only two genders exist and that they must strictly be gendered as either.
Gender expression. Femme, masculinity, presentation. Gender expression is the external representation/display of an individual's gender. Alongside a combination of demeanor, personality, and social behaviors, dress is only one factor of gender presentation.
Everyone knows Ruby Rose, right? Super hot Australian from Netflix Original hit Orange is the New Black? Rose, although biologically female, identifies as gender fluid, which describes their somewhat boyish demeanor and appearance. Notice the use of the pronoun their- it is a gender neutral pronoun that is used for individuals who don't quite identify as one way or another. Gender fluid individuals often feel more feminine some days, or more masculine other. It is natural for them to not settle wholly on one gender or another. They are able to express both fluidly. I think it's pretty neat that such an expression of an individual exists. I'm not gonna wear dresses and skirts every day to prove I'm a girl. Where's my leather, band tees, and old baseball caps? However, gender representation does not equal their biological gender. It is important to be respectful of individual's pronouns and respect what they identify as.
**Here is a YouTube video explaining gender fluidity.
Gender non-conforming is an idea of gender presentation, whether by nature or by choice, an individual does not align in a predicted fashion with gender-based expectations. Remember Ruby Rose? She's a pretty good example. However, gender-fluidity and gender non-conforming don't always go hand in hand.
Alright, if you're getting a little bored, here's a difficult concept to grasp that will hopefully spice things up a little bit. Genderqueer. Now, I know the majority of you are going to be like that is totally not a thing. But, here I am to shatter all your ideas of the gender binary and what you thought you knew. Genderqueer is a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman; or as an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid). Genderqueer individuals may also think as one or more of the following identities: may combine aspects man and woman and other identities (bigender, pangender); not having a gender or identifying with a gender (genderless, agender); moving between genders (genderfluid); third gender or other-gendered; includes those who do not place a name to their gender having an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual and romantic orientation.
**Here is a YouTube video explaining genderqueer.
Remember when Miley Cyrus came out as pansexual? No? You didn't care enough? Well, I wouldn't really have either unless I myself didn't identify as pansexual. I questioned what I would identify as when I always said, "I just like people." I didn't care about gender, or whatever else. I liked personalities. People themselves. So, a pansexual is someone who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. (Furthermore, please don't base your opinion on this sexuality just based on Miley Cyrus. I just heard that pop culture references hit home with the young folk.)
**Here is a YouTube video explaining pansexuality.
This will be a continuing series in an attempt to educate and hopefully just inform people of the complexity of gender, identity, and an individual's sexual and romantic attractions. Not to mention the types of relationships between people.
Happy reading!
**Major thanks to this amazing website for the list of words and a compilation of many definitions**