A common holiday tradition is taking cookies, smothering them in frosting and candy, and somehow forming a structure that looks like a house. Most people call this building a gingerbread house. I chose to partake in this activity this year with my girlfriend. Here’s how it went down.

First, we had to buy a kit. Oh boy, that was a chore. Five Below only had a gingerbread train set, or a small house kit. That was not up to our standard. We checked Target next. They didn’t have anything. Ugh. I had travelled in the downpour of rain for the perfect kit, and good ole Target let me down. Next, we checked Jewel. They had a Rice Krispies train set. Again, not what we were looking for. Finally, we saw it. The perfect gingerbread house kit. Jewel comin’ in clutch.

The good thing about kits, is that they come with this nifty little tray to help build the most structurally sound house. And, so, our building began. We managed to get all four walls connected, with a little backseat assistance from my father (before we kicked him out). Then, came the hard part. The roof. Now, this is why I hate building these things. The roof will always cave in. It’s practically a guarantee.

Magically, our roof seemed sturdy enough, and we began decorating it. We used gumballs on one side, and flat candy disks on the other. On the top, in the middle, we used tiny candy balls. Before we decorated the house any more, we decorated our tree, snowman, and gingerbread man. And, that’s when it happened. I knew it was coming. The roof began to split, and slide down either side. Now, maybe it’s just because we’re not architects, but I’m convinced the people that design these kits, purposely design the house so that it will break. In order to fix this catastrophe, we had to use more icing. That meant covering the perfect little balls on the roof of this dilapidated house.

We finished decorating our house by adding some droopy icing windows, a door, a gumdrop walkway, and a peppermint wreath. Of course, during this time, another disaster struck. Our roof was back at it again! Instead of decorating the rest of the tray, or the sides and back of the house, like normal people, we chose to use the majority of our uneaten leftover icing to help make the roof more structurally sound. As of now, it’s still standing, but we’ll see how long the poorly designed gingerbread house kit stays strong.

What I learned from this experience is, I should bake my own gingerbread and not have a slanted roof. I should also use some sort of support on the inside to help hold it up for when the twister strikes. I also realized I really like the taste of the frosting in those kits. And, I’m glad that building a sugar house isn’t an everyday activity. Pretending to be an architect once a year, is enough for me!