Hi. Remember me? The one that was left? The one that was just forgotten about and not given a care in the world for? I decided that it was time for everything that was left unsaid to finally be said. From time and time again, I find myself thinking about everything that has happened, and I try to find where things went wrong. Was it the fact that I wasn't what you are used to? Was it because I am who I am? Was it because meeting my family was a lot more than you could handle? How about all of my background that you said you could handle and let me open up to you about? A question that I will never get an honest answer too, frankly because you could honestly care less about me. Was it worth it? All of the lies and bullshit you told me and made me believe? Introducing each other to everybody in our lives? Forming a connection with them? I hope it was, because for me; it was all worth it until I realized I'll never see them again. I'll never get to have the laughs and conversations with them again. But, in the end; they will always have a special place in my heart,

I don't want you to think that I hate YOU. I could never hate you, for all of the times that you made me feel happiness and let me be my true self, I could never. Even after all of the pain and sadness you gave me afterwards. I hate that you made me believe every word you said to me. I hate the lies that you made me feel was everything coming from the bottom of your heart. I hate that you said "I love you" to me countless times, and swore that you meant it. I hate that you promised we to not worry about things, and turned around and did the things I wasn't supposed to worry about. I hate that we made future plans together, just for you to forget about them. I hate that you don't see what is wrong with how things ended. I hate how my thoughts and feelings weren't put into consideration. I hate that they still aren't put into consideration. I hate that to this day, I still get hell from people that shouldn't even be talking to me. I hate how things are thrown in my face and everybody goes about that it is nothing. I hate how I feel about and look at myself. I hate how I can't trust any man anymore that wants to walk into my life. And finally, I hate how you're happy with the biggest "don't ever worry about…."

You were a form of happiness in my life. A form of happiness that just up and left like it was nothing. You made it seem like you didn't want anybody else and here we are how many days,months, years later with someone. You made me feel so good about myself when we were together. So confident, happy, pretty, loved and wanted. Now I am left feeling ugly, not good enough, lonely, unwanted, and unloved. The feeling that you don't feel this after promising time and time again that there is no other way you would want things is sickening. You told me you loved me. I never felt what love was, not coming from family. You swore you were going to teach me (no worries, heard that famous sentence plenty of times). You can't tell a girl something and then literally 3 days later do the polar opposite. I've heard that I was difficult and hard to read; ever think that if guys were ever straight up with me and honest then I wouldn't put my guard up all the time? Making myself "difficult or hard to read"? If you aren't feeling it, straight up say something so nobody is hurt so badly in the end.

I hope you remember all of the things you said to me about your past and how your happiness hasn't been as real as it was when we were together. I hope you remember all of the "amazing" things I've done for you. I hope you're happy with where you are in life. I hope your happiness is the happiest you've been. Finally, I hope even after all of the pain, heartache, self hatred, and shame that you've given me; you never have to go through this pain.