Leaving the 99
This morning as I was setting up for my 7th grade class and reviewing the material I would be teaching (making connections to the text, highlighting context clues, and making inferences), I found myself making a profound connection to my own life at this ever-changing, unexplainable time we are finding ourselves in on a daily basis.

I knew that my remote learning, online class today would be filled with only one student. One student that when asked previously if they would rather not have class today or tomorrow because of teacher workdays or if they would want to log on and receive some extra reading and math review before the holiday, he was the only one to choose to log on today to practice some reading comprehension and math calculation skills.

It was in this moment that I made the distinct and ironic connection( week of Passover), to the parable of the sheep. More specifically, to Matthew 18: 12 "What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? 13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray."

These past two weeks I have thought tirelessly of my students who I cannot reach. Those who I have had for three school years in the classroom and miss seeing their sweet faces everyday. Whose sassy attitudes keep me on my toes, but make me love them even more. Those who I know are longing for the attention of their teachers and peers and are missing the human interaction they are used to because all of our normalcies have been thrown out the door to what for, until today, I was looking at all wrong.

I have been looking at this pandemic and life-threatening virus as the enemy. The terrible thing that has taken me away from my classroom, my tight schedule that I was living for; the schedule that kept me carrying around my planner to pencil in my next event. The virus that has cancelled my daily workouts with one of my best friends, in crowded gym that left me fighting for an open rack. I saw this virus as the thing that could have cancelled my “to a "t"” planned out Disney trip. The virus that may take away my two beach trips this summer, birthday plans, family events and traditions that I have never missed, not once. This virus has put to a halt all things in my life that I thought truly mattered and kept me afloat on a daily basis.

But what if this virus, this evil doing; this toilet paper hoarding; panic striking, virus, is simply doing the exact opposite?

What if this connection I made this morning was not ironic in nature in the slightest, but a complete, bone shaking, body rattling sign from God that I need to wake up? (Man did that really hit home just typing it!)

Before my class started this morning (scheduled for 11:00) at approximately 10:52, I typed into my phone "Reckless Love" by Cory Asbury. This song came to mind after making the connection to the parable. The lyrics literally spoke to me. "Oh the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God". I had been looking at this past month all wrong, and man oh man was this morning surely the wake-up call that I needed.

I looked at this virus as overwhelming and seemingly, never-ending; when in reality y'all, it's the exact opposite. God's love is never-ending and man is it crazy overwhelming. So how in the world could I even compare the two?

As the song played, a flooding of thoughts filled my head. Of course all positive thoughts. I mean I was listening to one of my favorite Christian songs, how could it not be? But y'all the thoughts....

For instance,

1. I have gotten to see and spend more time with Tanner in this past month then I have since last June. We have talked wedding talk and planned more of the wedding in the past few weeks than we have since getting engaged because I have just been so exhausted to chat about it anytime it's brought up.

2. Which brings me to number two. I have gotten rest and relaxation. (Whattt? Never thought I would say that) I have gone on walks, found new workouts, gotten back into hobbies, and so much more.

3. Speaking of walks! I have had the chance to spend soooo much time with Nova and boy is she loving it. She has learned to finally walk on a leash (only gotten out of her harness once into oncoming traffic at a busy intersection), she has learned a few new tricks, one in particular, dropping the ball when it's the only one around and soaks up every minute she can cuddle. I have loved every minute of being with her sassy self because y'all she is almost four. FOUR!!

4. I have learned about, and used new technology. (Not a strong suit for me if you're wondering)

5. I have literally "stopped and smelled the roses" (okay, not technically roses because I haven't seen any on my walks, but have seen plenty of tulips and my goodness they are gorgeous)

6. I have connected with many teachers who have been my backbone this school year, but now more so than ever in this daily changing time we as teachers are going through.

7. I have laughed. I have smiled. Two things that have not really happened since 2020 has started.

8. I have cooked home-cooked meals. I mean cooked!! Which has always been one of my most favorite things to do since I was really little. Although, ever since basketball season started in October, I have just not quite had as much time as needed to do my favorite thing.

Lastly... this one is a biggie and deserves more than just a number...

I had my one in the 99 moments!! No my one did not go astray, nor were they sheep, but man the connection was just too good not to make and more importantly, share. This morning I woke up so excited that I was getting to teach. More specifically I was getting to teach just one student at a time and work individually to meet the needs of that student. That student who literally sat at their computer for 32 minutes with me while we tried to problem solve why in the world google meet was not letting them hear me (I thought I had technology figured out). That moment that as a teacher you know that you have done your job for at least one little person and that all you put into it truly matters.

Yesterday I had two similar scenarios. I was able! I mean I got to... work with, two other students, both individually at their own pace. Two students who normally in the small group with other students roll their eyes at me or scoff at the idea of me being in their presence (middle schoolers, I know). Are y'all hearing this though? For forty minutes each, yesterday I had the opportunity to work with kids on their own level of understanding, without any interruptions of others coming in the classroom causing distractions, without fear of pulling them from another core class, no IEP meetings to interrupt learning. Nothing! Actual teaching and learning, full engagement and problem-solving happening!! This was a special education teachers dream!! A moment, for someone who does not cry easily, to shed those extremely happy tears! A moment that without this “what I thought as a sign of evil” virus, going around would not be possible. The big man upstairs really does know what he is doing and boy oh boy, does he have a plan for us all and for all of what is going on in the world. I have been woken up to see what’s happening around me Andrew why behind it. God has given us all this time to check ourselves, slow down and and enjoy what’s been placed in front of us.

Because of this time we never thought we would see. The time causing so much negativity and chaos, I would encourage anyone reading this to do one thing. Search for the positives and let those guide your thoughts and choices each day. Look for the one! Find what makes you happy and do more of it. Call that family member or friend you haven't talked to in awhile, take on a new hobby, shop online and local, take a walk and ....

slow down and smell the "tulips"!!