The entire summer before freshman year, you’re so excited to leave for school, so pumped to finally be on your own, no rules to follow, no parents to listen to… did I mention no parents? After 18 years of, ‘finish your dinner’, ‘be back at 11’, ‘no you can’t go out’, ‘did you do your homework?’, you get that first taste of college freedom. I was the same way. I traded suburbia for metropolitan and left the high school years behind. While college is great, I found myself calling my mom every weekend that first year and almost every day now as an incoming senior. Moving out and rarely seeing my family has made me appreciate everything more now than when I was an annoying 14 year old.
“She never came out of her room for 13 years of her life and now calls me everyday”, my mom said when I called the other night about my student loans.
The sarcastic comment isn’t wrong though. Who has time to talk when you get up at the crack of dawn, hustle to school for 7 hours, go to lacrosse practice, dance, throw in an art project here and there, AND finish calculus homework all in one day (nor would you want to talk about all that). And while I balanced all my extra curriculars, there was then the agonizing two years of SAT’s, college applications, and other future stressors so of course the teenage years suck a little. So I fled the coop and shipped myself up to Boston (get it?) for what I thought was going to be a parent-free world.
With cold wars heating up between roommates and force-feeding myself the not-so-glam food, I was feeling a little lack-luster and would end up calling my mom every now and then. When people say moms know everything, you don’t believe it until you actually witness the wisdom first hand. When I was snowed in sophomore year for a few weeks and getting cabin fever, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at times when the tunnel was infact covered with 10 feet of snow. I’d call my mom almost every day with an update on how much snow fell as well as what the cats were up to. Even though there was rarely a problem it’s always nice to feel like I was at home again. Junior year came in full force with any small dilemma you could think of and when something goes awry in the circle of friends, I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t involved. It’s always good to get an unbiased opinion and as much as it was annoying for my mom’s phone to ring five times while she was at work, I was on the other end waiting for the seal of approval and reassurance that everything was going to be okay. I knew my relationship with my mom had improved since high school when I called her in tears one day and the next hour I was sitting on a train to go home. It wasn’t that I never appreciated living at home, but I had experienced post-high-school-grad life that was more like the real world, with real world problems that don’t magically go away. Friends are only as good as they can be when it comes to advice. That’s not negative at all, but sometimes when your boss at work is pissing you off, the best advice comes from someone who has been ‘adulting’ for 20+ years.
The difference between then and now is simply, time. It wasn't just about being a grumpy teen, it was also the fact that coming home and talking about your American History class isn't exactly relatable or all that interesting. Now that I am more of an adult and I have to figure out how to pay bills, set up student loans, and World Wars with friends, it's easier to talk to someone who's already been there. "Moving out" didn't just make me appreciate all the food I missed out on, it made me realize what your mom is there for (not just cupcakes).
