This isn't just for all the men that exist in this world but one man aimed in particular. This right here is for the man that left my bed, and ladies this might just help the men in your life act accordingly. Who knows though? Because lets face it, men are the only other human species that are just so damn clueless. I pity the men that are just completely oblivious to a woman when she's showing signs of abandonment. They don't even have a fucking clue when she's about to leave. Honestly it's completely mind blowing that a man can spot a b*tch with Brazilian hair all down her back and a silicone ass, but can't tell when his woman is unhappy. Sorry to say fellas but if she's showing any one of these telltale signs then that means your 'expiration date' is coming up.

The first move any woman makes is mentally making it known to herself and accepting it. As soon as she stops nagging, being inquisitive or not giving a second thought to what the fuck you are doing. It could be what time you'll be home or whether or not you're late for the 5th time in a row for date night. This isn't something to take lightly and you're dumb as a doorknob if you think there's nothing wrong between the two of you. Mentally preparing ourselves helps us tolerate you and your bullsh*t tendencies. So be prepared for the most gruesome, yet most silent and calm disaster you are ever going to witness because it's coming.

Ladies we all know this one comes right after, the silent game. Usually women want to express their concerns and needs whether or not she knows you're listening. As soon as she speaks and what she was saying has been disregarded completely, that's code red. We may not say a single word after that and it doesn't mean we understand you. To be quite frank, we understand and get everything you say but when you realize that you're having a conversation by yourself, YOU BETTER CLEAR THE F*CK OUT!

My most favorite of all is when we stop entertaining them b*tches you used to know. Remember all the girls that you claimed were just friends? Yeah the ones that you said you'd stop texting? GTFOH, we know you still text them throughout the day when you're not in the same vicinity of us. Let's not forget about those f*cking sea-donkies that you probably never stopped double tapping on Instagram and Facebook. Don't you worry any longer, you won't hear anymore screaming, nagging about it anymore. We have reached the end and about to execute our exit plan. We might even have another man that is ready to go deep sea diving in the beach that you once swam in.

Tip: Always remember that what you won't do, another man will. And will most definitely do it better.

And ladies, you're the rulers of the world, men wouldn't exist without us. Love yourself and do better!

Until next time,

Marly Safire