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The Last Place You Leave A Lipstick Stain On Shouldn't Be Him

It should be the lid of your coffee cup; and although it's bitter, it's still sweeter.

Irysh Concepcion

Mar 06, 2018

Washington State University

464

The Last Place You Leave A Lipstick Stain On Shouldn't Be Him

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Pop quiz: Where was the last place you left a lipstick stain?

A) Something

B) Someone

C) I don't wear lipstick

There is no wrong answer here. Question two: How much was that kiss worth?

A) Less than an ounce of your Buxom lip gloss on the plastic lid of your 12-ounce latte

B) The wait

C) What kiss? There's no evidence

Last thing: What did that taste like?

A) Your routine round of joe; there's still a kick and surprise in every sip

B) A cocktail so sour that you puckered with a sweet aftertaste that made you swoon

C) Really, what's the point here?

The last person's lips on which you smudged your affection isn't any more special than the coffee cup you sipped from this morning.

Both have been slobbered on, and both can be disposed of.

Both can be disposed of. Point blank.

Dang. Who made me bitter? I am a bitter girl. Ask me how I like my salad, how many sugars I add to warm beverages, and then match my favorite type of chocolate to my soul.

Answer 1: I munch on plain lettuce like potato chips.

Answer 2: I don't think someone as sweet as me needs the sugar. (Okay, only someone as salty as I would make up a lie like that. Don't you see? I don't even like dressing on my salad.)

Answer 3: 99 percent. Trust, I'm not milking my preferences.

My melancholic tastes for all things considered a crime to your expectations of pleasurable cuisine nurtures my explicit intuition to remedy a frail relationship.

The sound of every transaction made on a caramel macchiato squeals in its own tacky twang, "I'm a pretender."

Pretender of what? A devotee of coffee.

If there is a drink that needs a coaster most, it's the cafe cup you sugared up in the flavor: Take Me As I Am, With As Much Added Sweetener To Your Liking.

Seriously. Slide a coaster under that one because no one wants to clean up after those traces, just like how you wouldn't want others to have to deal with your tears over someone who couldn't take you as you are.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

The Last Place You Leave A Lipstick Stain On Shouldn't Be Him

It should be the lid of your coffee cup; and although it's bitter, it's still sweeter.

Pop quiz: Where was the last place you left a lipstick stain?

There is no wrong answer here. Question two: How much was that kiss worth?

Last thing: What did that taste like?

The last person's lips on which you smudged your affection isn't any more special than the coffee cup you sipped from this morning.

Both can be disposed of. Point blank.

My melancholic tastes for all things considered a crime to your expectations of pleasurable cuisine nurtures my explicit intuition to remedy a frail relationship.

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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