Tuesday night my friend texted me a link to a YouTube video along with a text saying, “hi i really loved this video and i think you’ll like it.” She was wrong, because I LOVED it! The video was created by a social media influencer named Andrea Russet, who I have been following for about three years now. The video left me thinking about a lot and I want to share some thoughts with you...:

Millennials think that in order to love yourself you have to be “perfect,” but what is perfect?

Perfection is a false idea of happiness and an unattainable desire to achieve something because you think it’ll make you happy. That’s literally all it is, and if you think about it that way it’s pretty simple. Coming from a person who did everything to reach her idea of perfect, I can assure you that once achieved it didn’t make me happy.

Everyone has insecurities; what makes us different is whether or not we allow these insecurities to make us insecure.

People are insecure about their acne, scars, stretch marks, freckles, thighs, arms, stomach etc… Everyone can stand in the mirror and point out something that they are insecure about, some minor and some that make them feel as though they are so ugly and shouldn’t leave the house. Who do we blame for this stigma? Society? Media? Ourselves? That’s the kind of question that doesn’t necessarily have an answer. Fortunately, you can do something about it and the change starts with yourself!

Beauty is not about being “slim thick with a cute ass” or whatever other one liners you hear on the radio or written across the cover of a magazine.

Beauty is so much more than that. Teen girls and boys are WAY too critical of themselves!! Come on, let’s be real, do you really think that if you have a pimple everyone is going to stare at you and notice it as soon as you walk into class? Honestly? The answer is no, nobody cares. They are too busy being concerned about themselves.

We see ourselves the same way every. single. day. Staring into a mirror, deciding whether we like the way we look or not and what we need to do to fix it. And often if you're unhappy, that feeling follows you throughout the day.

For example if you think you have “thunder thighs” all you’ll do is focus on that while eating, sitting, walking…. You’re letting some minuscule part of your appearance that nobody notices control your thoughts about yourself. That insecurity controls you. It’s a waste of time!! You don’t see the way the light hits your eyes in just the perfect spot and brightens up your face. You don’t see yourself in the most natural state of smiling or laughing with your friends while walking across campus, and most importantly you don’t realize just how special you are to others around you. In the eyes of others you’re this beautiful human who carries themselves so well.

When asking a group of teens their favorite things about themselves, most of them responded with answers that had nothing to do with their physical being. The answers were, “I love my compassion towards others, my personality, my optimism, my passion, my perseverance, my strength.” All of these were such incredible answers, and if you don’t know why, it’s simply because these answers aren’t visible. They have absolutely nothing to do with the way you look.

The mind is such a beautiful, complex system, and if you’re constantly feeding yourself with negative thoughts and comments about yourself you will never feel happy. Take pride in your mind, your thoughts, your creativity, your personality and the rest will follow. I can assure you that nothing is more attractive than having a conversation with someone that is capable of appreciating the simple and natural things in life.

I know we are all so focused on who has the best body, the best clothes, the prettiest face, the greatest makeup... At times, it just feels like one big competition of “who looks better,” but let me tell you that that small mindedness doesn’t matter at the end of the day. What matters is how you made people feel, who you complimented, whose life you impacted. We are all just people trying to find our “happy,” whatever that may be.

Learn to love yourself for the things that make you different and stand out. Find happiness and pride in your uniqueness. Talk about the things you love, open up, be vulnerable, smile at people you don’t know, start a conversation. Whether you can see it now or not all of these things contribute to your beauty. Have a beautiful mind and love your appearance, YOU are special. YOU are worth it. YOU are unique. And lastly, YOU are so much more beautiful than you realize! Give yourself credit for it, and while you're at it……...smile, it looks great on you :)

PS: if no one told you told you today, you look great, so start believing it!