At some point or another we’ve all ended up hurt at the conclusion of a friendship or relationship with someone when we didn’t receive the closure that we thought we so desperately needed. Without closure, it’s impossible to get over the betrayal we feel, right? Until recently, I thought I’d never be able to completely let go of some of the grudges I’ve held against people that have hurt me in my life. It sounds terrible, but let’s be real.
I’ve had a couple of friendships and relationships with people end pretty harshly, and I’m not even talking about significant others here, people. I know that I am not alone when I say that often times, I can be very prideful. I tend to put up the façade that I am unaffected when people I love turn their backs on me. The old saying “you don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you” comes to mind. However, the truth is, a lot of us have huge hearts, and we love those close to us more than we love ourselves. Therefore, one of the hardest things to forgive is when we give as much effort as we are able to build strong friendships, and that effort is unmatched.
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My grandpa was actually the one who helped me realize that keeping all of my feelings about the people who had failed me pent-up only ended up hurting me. He reminded me, “the people who hurt you are going to keep going on with their lives like nothing ever happened. If you decide to hold on to the anger you feel, it won’t make anything better, it won’t make them sorry, and it won’t change their actions. It only hurts you, and your relationship with the Lord.”
Grandpa was absolutely right.
Forgiving someone without their apology or plea for forgiveness is much more challenging than I could have imagined. I have had to swallow my pride and pray for God’s help, and I’ve really had to work hard to wholeheartedly forgive those people. Some won’t ask for forgiveness because they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong, and this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Why would I want to grant my forgiveness to someone who doesn’t even acknowledge that they’re in the wrong?
The thing that everyone must come to realize is God forgives you repeatedly when you are more than undeserving. You have to realize that forgiveness isn’t for their sake—it’s for your own. To find peace and be able to move on, you have to really let go. Stop constantly talking about what happened between the two of you and ranting about how horribly you were wronged whenever their name is mentioned. Allowing yourself to move on from dead-end relationships starts with forgiveness, whether it is asked for or not.
Don’t allow the people who caused you pain to hold the power of resentment over you any longer. Allow yourself to be liberated.
