I had to say "no" to people this week. Three different times.
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If you know me, you would realize that this must've be an extremely difficult thing for me to do. As a people pleaser since day one, I have seen through the years that one thing I can't seem to do is say "no" very much. When someone asks me to do something or get involved with a project, chances are I agree to it. Because of this problem, I have found myself getting overwhelmed by the amount of activities that I'm involved in. I am quick to say "yes." Which isn't necessarily always a bad thing, but it is when you're trying to maintain your sanity!
It's impossible to say "yes" to everyone who asks you to do something or go somewhere. There are times when saying "no" to someone will fill me with guilt or the feeling that I'm letting someone down. Learning to say "no" has been a work in progress for me.
A co-worker once told me, "Hannah, you need to start saying 'no' without an explanation." Her words have stuck with me to this day. I know that I can't be the only one who has given an excuse or a detailed explanation following saying "no." I've been there and done that. We people pleasers want to wholeheartedly be there for people, but at the same time we have to know our limits.
During last semester, "learning my limits" was something I was faced with. It was an extremely busy time for me and after a week of feeling under the weather, I finally went to the doctor. After doing a series of tests that all came back negative, they finally concluded that I was experiencing exhaustion and I need to "get some rest." I knew this would be a challenge for me as a college student, but I had to try. I reevaluated what I was doing with my time, prioritized my involvement and lastly learned to say "no" when I needed to.
In situations, by saying "no" to others, you are saying "yes" to yourself. "Yes" to making sure you can handle what is already on your plate. "Yes" to knowing your limits. "Yes" to focusing on what is truly important and of priority to you.
You need to let yourself have those days, every once in a while, where you sleep until noon and do absolutely nothing. I have to constantly remind myself that if I'm not feeling 100 percent about an activity or event, I'm not obligated to be apart of it.
Having to say "no" takes practice and diligence to your established responsibilities. It is the MOST difficult for people pleasers, like me, to not say "yes." However, we owe it to ourselves and others to balance our time wisely and know its value. With this, sometimes comes having to utter that two-letter word.
