On a Wednesday night, a year and a half into college, and almost 20 years into life, I finally learned what the word "ally," in terms of supporting a member of the LGBTQ community truly meant.

It was the middle of the week, and I had just returned from grocery shopping where I had purchased copious amounts of chips and guac in preparation for one of my best friends from home to visit that weekend. I texted him letting him know of my excitement and of my most recent purchases. About two hours later, I received a call. And immediately, I knew something was wrong.

Self-described as a "flaming homosexual," my friend refuses to be anything except what he truly is. As he had aged and matured, he realized that the decision to stay true to who he was, would sometimes cause certain people to not fit in his life as well. The realization and feeling that some people struggle to accept you in this world, simply because of your devotion to your true self, is heartbreaking.

In that moment, on the phone with him walking laps around my apartment complex, something in me shifted. I was not sad for myself, for not having a friend visit that weekend. I was sad because I could not be with him.

I was sad because this genuine, kind, passionate person whom I admired and loved had his world crushed simply because of who he loves, and for refusing to be anything except himself. That's when I learned the distinction between thinking I was an ally because I had never not supported LGBTQ rights, and realizing that I was not living as an ally because I was not making the outward effort to make sure that my friends felt loved, even if there were people in the world who would never accept them because of their differences.

To me, being an ally is not necessarily about being a political activist. It is about first recognizing that, unfortunately, parts of society will always try to diminish beautiful, brilliant people, solely based on their sexuality. It is then about making sure that this lack of acceptance is counterbalanced by support, by love, and by assurance that just because hatred towards an individual exists, it does not mean that individual is worthy of hatred.

Now more than ever, I make sure that my friend feels loved. I make sure that anyone who is "different" than what parts of society may deem as normal does not feel less because of their difference.

Living as an ally means actively supporting our marginalized members of society, no matter the scrutiny they may be under, or the scrutiny we may fall under because of it. It means making the decision to love someone despite others' inability to love them. It means letting that love be known and be felt.

I may not always agree with political views, opinions, or someone's favorite color. However, part of being an ally is respecting that those political views, those opinions come from a place of marginalization. A place where, simply because of who someone loves, they are limited in their ability to express that love. I will support my friends' when they express their beliefs, and always when they express their love. That is my job as an ally, as a friend, and truly as a citizen of this ever-changing community.

Living as an ally means having support, love, and respect persist in the face of our friends' scrutiny, ostracization, and hatred and it is one of the most important things we can do.

As my friend would say, "I love the gays," and I'm damn proud of it.