In eighth grade, I learned about eating disorders and having a “healthy” body. I was growing out of my awkward stages and into my glow up. I quickly discovered that women with incredibly thin bodies weren’t always happy. Yet, even with this newfound information, I caught myself looking in mirrors sideways and sucking my stomach in. Suddenly, my weight was on my mind more than it should have been.

I would also compare myself to my sister, which was not a good idea. She’s 5’7”, crazy thin, and she eats like an animal (Sorry Hailee, I mean it in the most endearing way). I could never compete with her stature, I knew I would never be taller than 5’2” and I still found myself yearning for her athletic build. It wasn’t until she was in college and I was a high school sophomore that I came to terms with my body. Maybe it’s because she moved to Tallahassee and I wasn’t seeing her thin body walk through the house every day. I learned to accept my body in her absence, but I didn’t love it.

Finally, two years later, no pounds heavier, no pounds lighter, I fell in love with my body. Granted, there are parts I would change, but I accepted the challenge of loving the skin I was in. I wanted to stop sucking in my tummy every moment I walked past my reflection. I wanted to stop checking the scale to make sure the number never went five above or five below what I’m used to. I wanted it to all stop. I craved to be happy, confident, and in control.

The Kardashians and Jenner girls are “body goals” for a large population of females. Whether they want Kim’s ass, Kourtney’s boobs, Khloe’s waist to thigh ratio, Kendall’s tiny tummy, or Kylie’s lips, women are drawn to these celebrities. Regardless of if you have seen any of their shows or can even remember their names, you’ve got to admit that they are beautiful and they have all put in a tremendous amount of work to look so fabulous. However, you shouldn’t tell yourself that you need to look like anyone else, or have anyone else’s body be your goal.

I follow a minuscule amount of celebrities on Instagram or Twitter because I know that if I see their body in a bikini, I will most likely compare it to mine. I don’t want to live my life thinking about how I could look differently, I want to live my life knowing that I am happy with my curves. So many models are put on strict diets and workout routines just to maintain a specific look, and that to me isn’t healthy, but for someone else it could be. People should strive to be in a body that they love and can take care of. Forget about the model body, it’s unrealistic. I can’t change my height to 5’11” so I shouldn’t expect to look like a model.