When your heart is shattered into a thousand pieces it takes time to even think about wanting someone else in your life.
I am full of potential as a young 19 year old woman my heart desires things like getting my degree, finding the perfect husband and dreaming to have the perfect little family one day.
If you would have asked me 6 months ago what I thought of love I would have said that I was so excited that I loved someone and that life was going so great. Then one month ago my life came crashing down and the man I was so in love with woke up one morning and no longer loved me.
I felt my stomach go into knots and my heart sink to the bottom of it. I called my mom and her advice hit me so strong that I did not know what to do. My world seemed like it had just stopped and I did not know why.
I called my best friends telling them what had happened and they listened as I cried to them and told them the man I thought I would marry was no longer in my life. I never saw it coming, from the month of fighting before to covering up the heart ache with the positives, yet all my friends did.
When I think of loving again or even dating again I get extremely scared. I have a mind set that every guy is out to heart me no matter who they are. Yet, that is not true at all. My best guy friends advised me to just stay strong and don't let my guard down so fast yet go out and explore life.
Let me tell you, I grabbed life by the reins and ran with it. I began going to the movies, hanging out with friends and went on a couple dates. Nothing to big but let me tell you, it feels good to get your mind off of something that just crushes your heart every time you think about it.
There are a couple things that I have learned since I began to try and love again and they are:
1) NEVER let someone tell you that you should not go out
2) Take life by the reins and run with it. It is not the last time you are going to get hurt so just live life day to day.
3) LOVE YOURSELF- if you can not do this then you will never be able to truly love someone
4) It is okay to move on, if you find someone that you like- TELL THEM, you do not want to miss out on an opportunity that could be the best thing ever.
5) BE FREE- if you can, go out and explore the world, take a random road trip with the girls (or guys) and live life. This is so important.
When I think about loving again now, I am pretty sure that I can handle it. It may take some time and a very strong willed man but trust me, this girl is going to find her happily ever after.
