Have you ever been in a deep conversation, debate, or argument with another person and realized that you are no longer listening to what they really have to say. You stand there and hear what they're saying, but it's being drowned out by your own thoughts and beliefs while you begin to already formulate what you're going to retort after just hearing the first few lines of their opinion.
Well, you have.
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This style of half listening, or believing that you already know what another person will say or think and in turn creating a response in your head, leads to inefficient and dead end conversations. However, you're thinking:
"No way strange Odyssey article writer! I listen intently to everything people say to me, and unbiasedly try to understand their opinions, relate them to mine, and then create a productive and healthy response!"
OK, so I have a challenge for you:
Don't speak for an entire day.
I call it the John Francis challenge. John Francis is a world environmentalist who has been nicknamed the "Planetwalker." After seeing the vast destruction that was caused by the 1971 San Francisco Oil Spill he took a vow for 22 years to never use a motorized vehicle. 17 of these years he spent walking the lower width of the 48 states in America and eventually walking into South America. But here's the kicker, he spent these 17 years completely silent, never speaking while still earning his Ph.D in land management, teaching and becoming the United Nations Environmental Program Goodwill Ambassador.
He learned a lot about listening, expressing that he had never realized how he wasn't listening, he was always thinking, not giving a person the chance to actually be heard. Once vowing silence and never having the intention to speak, he could finally just listen to every syllable and thought that was expressed, for the first time realizing that everyone has a point to be heard and to be understood.
I took this vow and didn't speak for an entire day. I took the time to only listen, throwing my bias and experience out the window, taking the time to truly attempt to understand what was being said to me. I experienced personal growth and a greater understanding of what it means to intellectually communicate with someone.
I challenge you to do the same thing, and it only takes a few simple steps.
1. Let the people closest to you know your intentions to avoid any confusion during the day.
2. Stop speaking but realize you're there to understand.
3. When in the midst of a group debate, let go of your personal beliefs and attempt to absorb others, with no intention of a reply.
4. Keep an open mind
5. Finally, at the end of the day, reflect and be introspective on what you experienced so you can grow from it.
There's a lot we can all learn about each other through silence, and listening is just the beginning.
"Knowing yourself is the begining of all wisdom" — Aristotle
