There is very little comparable in life to the pain of a break-up. When it comes down to it, in some way or another one of the partners in the relationship failed to make the other adequately happy. In almost every scenario imaginable, the hurt hits home. It is true that despite who dumped who or why the break-up happened in the first place, no one likes to see a relationship end. Two people who really truly care about each other, and who see each other every minute of every day are suddenly cast apart, to become strangers to each other yet again. Unfortunately, that is life. However, here are a 11 things we can learn from the mistakes made in previous relationships.
1. Do not EVER take your significant other for granted.
This may seem like an obvious point, right? Wrong. Just like everything else life, it is easy to lose track of how much someone means to you. This is without a doubt the easiest way to lose that special someone. Make them feel insignificant and they will leave you. I promise you that. Remember, they chose you, so they clearly truly care about you, too.
2. Be yourself. Be you. Be genuine.
In the history of this earth, no relationship has had a happy ending with a false self to start it. Don't pretend to be someone else that you think your crush likes. It will not, I repeat, will not, end well. Be yourself and have fun when you're together. I am a goofy guy, I have come to terms with that and I enjoy others who love that. Use whatever characterizes you to impress them. Don't put on a facade because eventually the mask will come off.
3. Make their friends your friends.
Regardless of gender, either party will ask their circle of friends for their opinion on the person they are considering dating. A guy will ask his bros and a girl will ask her gal pals or whatever they call each other. Take advantage of this truth, and make yourself known to them. Take the time to get to meet them and at least attempt to become friends. Remember, someone's friends can be key to a better relationship. If they genuinely like you, they will help you out with anything in regards to that special someone whether it be what her favorite flower is or if she would enjoy something as trivial as miniature golf. They're there to help. Don't make them your enemy.
4. Do not rush things.
I can not stress this enough. There is nothing that will freak someone out more then taking things too fast. This could be in regards to the status of the two of you or in a more sensual way. Slow it down nonetheless. No one wants to be that person who looks back and realizes they messed it up by asking them to be official too soon. If you don't, you just may end up by yourself.
5. Take a genuine interest in your significant others activities.
I learned this point the hard way in my first few relationships. I didn't show much any interest at all to their activities at all (I mean, what high school kid wants to go watch a tennis match?) and I didn't really understand why those relationships struggled. Just take the time to show them that you care about what they love to do. Whether it's making it out to a soccer game or spending your weekends on a movie bender, they'll notice the effort you are putting into the relationship.
6. We all need "me" time.
You had a stressful day, school is piling up, the family is driving you crazy and you just need some "me" time. Guess what, everyone has those days. Even that special someone. If they tell you they need a little space for the day or just need some time by themselves, let them be. Everyone needs "me" time once in a while to relax.
7. The honey moon phase does not last forever.
Those first few months where the two of you are still getting to know each other does end. Trust me, it does. That point where you are still exploring each other ends. It is the relationships that remain sturdy when this point is past that are healthy and strong. Like turns to love and sexy to beautiful. If you make it here, count yourself fortunate.
8. Surprises are key.
Everyone loves surprises. I love them and everyone I have been involved with romantically has loved them. I really don't see a downside to having something ready for that special someone and then seeing the sheer happiness and surprise on their face when they see it. Something as small as a dinner date, or ice cream in the middle of the day, or a note you slipped into their backpack makes the difference. Men or women alike appreciate the small things and this does include surprises.
9. Not everyone enjoys the same things.
Yeah, that's right, I learned this one the hard way. Know what your significant other enjoys before you do something with them. Just because one person loved something you did for them, does absolutely not mean someone else will. If you assume this, odds are you will get embarrassed.
10. Communication really is as important as people say.
It is. You can NOT have a healthy relationship without communication. From what you are doing to plans and merely keeping in contact, this is a vital part of trust and respect. If you want to establish a level a mutual trust and respect for each other, let them know what is happening and what you are up to should they ask. If you have to ignore or lie to them, you are doing something wrong and you clearly don’t deserve that person. Everyone deserves the best so do not cheat them of that. Keep the communication in the relationship clear and strong.
11. Don't allow the trivial obstacles get in the way.
Small obstacles in life can occur, and trust me they will. How you react to these problems however, can make or break your relationship. Things like jealousy, poor communication, or long-distance are relationship killers for many people. Don't allow these stupid issues to get in the way of your love for that certain someone. Remember what is important.
My point with this article is that you can learn a lot from your past relationships. Don't make those same mistakes in the future. I had to learn these things the hard way, and though it has made me into a better person today, that doesn't mean it was fun to get here. Take my advice as you will, but try to save yourself the tears of yet another failed relationship with what you just read.
