This semester, this year really, has been more than I bargained for.

I have been on a roller coaster in all areas of my life: physical, mental, spiritual

For the most part, I have been in this roller coaster car, buckled in tight, hands clenched tight to the bar in front of me, eyes closed. I don't know where the next drop is.

When I look back, I feel like my car of life switched to a new course when college came. I couldn't see anything from where I sat. I was scared, but I was ready.

Today I just want to stop and look at what is ahead and attempt to process what is behind.

Some parts of the ride were great. They are the parts I am keeping close to my heart. They are the pictures covering the walls of my dorm room or texts on my phone. These parts are filled with people and places that are where my heart is at peace.

It seems like this year many of the parts have been drops. I get an idea of where the track is leading, but before I know it, I am diving down, turning corners, and turning upside down. Life will have its challenges, so I look at these parts of the track from the end of them, so I am able to see how I have grown.

There is one part of this roller coaster I was not expecting. I had highlighted some parts as my favorite. They are the parts I would like to stay on the longest or return to in the crazy times. They are my constants.

Now, some of these constants have shattered.

The places or people I place my trust in fail me and that part of the track fall away. I look back at it and see all the good memories in pieces due to do the destruction.

It is in these times that I feel that seatbelt get a little tighter and the seat gets a little more comfortable. I am reminded of my true constant. He is best described in the 23rd Psalm:

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righ teousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

This is hard. I pull hard to lead the way, but the Lord pulls harder, slowing me down, giving me peace.

Life is hard. It was never promised to be easy, but there is one thing that makes it easier.

Trust the seatbelt, and let go of handlebar.

The Lord has laid out a beautiful plan for each and every one of us. Our lives are best lived when we are pursuing His will .

The track is laid; we just need to let go and enjoy the ride by continually choosing to seek Him.