TRiO programs are federal outreach programs designed to provide services to individuals with disadvantaged backgrounds (low income/disabilities/etc.). Upward Bound is a branch of TRiO aimed at first generation college students from low income families. My family was one such family.
I joined TRiO's Upward Bound in the summer of 2014, my sophomore year of high school. In the summers Upward Bound students stay on campus and take classes to prepare them for college. Here are tree of the most important things I learned from my two years in the program. Including some obvious lessons (like those about college), and some not so obvious ones (those about life).
Number One (Life lesson): Everyone is the Same (In the way that matters) (Subtitled:The longest story ever):
I was never attractive in high school. I was obviously weird and didn't fit into any real social groups. I had a hand full of friends but they mostly fit into other groups. They would invite me to hang out with them but I felt uncomfortable and outcasted when I did. I spent lunch time in the classroom or, in dire circumstances, in the bathroom having small almost-panic-attacks. When I joined Upward Bound I regretted it almost immediately because I realized I would have to interact with people I had never met and would most likely not fit in with.
My first day of Upward Bound I felt like everyone was being fake to me. Everyone seemed to know each other already. It was like high school, only now I didn't even have my small group of friends. There were three other people from my school there. One of them was on the outer circle of my friend group (a friend of a friend). She told me she didn't mind me hanging out with her, but again I was uncomfortable with it.
Everyone was assigned to "families" and on the first day we had to eat lunch and dinner together. I was secretly happy because that meant I wouldn't have to find a place to sit and potentially deal with the awkward "can I sit here" conversation. For the second day i wasn't so lucky. I tried to skip out but one of the family leaders caught me and told me that eating was necessary. (I guess they didn't want me to die or something.) That lead to the first panic attack I had at Upward Bound.
Everyone was eating together and the cafeteria was sufficiently full. It was swarming with people both from Upward Bound and from other camps that were staying on campus. I decided to go to the bathroom and wait out lunch time. It couldn't last forever. There was only one problem with my plan, I had no idea where the bathroom was. I wandered around for a while then decided to just sit down outside the cafeteria doors and scream internally.
It was around this time that one of the women in charge of this Upward Bound program stepped out. She saw me sitting there and asked what was wrong. I told her that I had to use the bathroom and couldn't find it. She showed me to it and waited to walk me back to the cafeteria. I think she knew I was having rough time because she helped me find a seat and calm down.
The next few days were a little better. I made sure I was one of the first in the cafeteria line so I could find a place to sit. I didn't eat. For the first week and a half I lived off of the food in my dorm. Lots of peanut butter sandwiches. By then I had talked to no one outside of my "family" because talking to them was required.
One day I was sitting in my seat alone and one of the TAs came over to me. He told me that he didn't like to see people eating alone. I pointed out that I wasn't eating, I was only sitting alone. We had a conversation and he told me he wanted me to try and make friends. The next day a girl from my family came over and asked if she could sit with me, because all of the tables had people at them already.
She was my first friend at Upward Bound. We sat together nearly every day after that. Her friends from school joined us most of the time. I didn't think I'd fit in with them. They were all pretty and outgoing- people I usually wouldn't talk to. I was uncomfortable at first, but I had no out. At high school there had always been a way to avoid seeing certain people. At Upward Bound it was nearly impossible. Especially with one of them being in my "family".
After a while I had learned everyone's personalities and I found that they were more like me than I thought. They had the same sense of humor. They were all a little weird. That's when it clicked for me that Upward Bound was a place for the academics. It was a college program. Everyone there was from a background similar to mine. They understood me.
So I made friends. I was part of a group. For the first time I felt like I completely fit into the puzzle, not like a pace shoved in because it was "close enough". I couldn't take that back with me to high school, it was too organized and everyone was set in their ways, but I knew that I wasn't an outcast anymore.
Number Two (College Lesson): FAFSA opens on January 1st. (That means it's due January 2nd):
In case you don't know FAFSA is federal student aid. It opens on january 1st and it does run out of money quickly. So even though it's open as long as there's money it's best to do it as early as possible (I think this year they moved it to October 1st, which made it due October 2nd). It's not a complicated process. Would you rather spend about an hour filling out a financial aid form, or pay full tuition in loans and be paying them off with the money that's supposed to buy your grave stone? Just fill it out. Trust me.
Number Three (college/life lesson): Shower Mid Day. (Subtitled: No one cares if you poop.):
Everyone showers early in the morning or late at night. Take advantage of the habits of others. Shower in the evening, when others are out doing things. There's lots of hot water, and you can play music without worrying that someone else is angry at you for playing it.
On a related note: Poop. If you have to poop just do it. People will respect you for it. You will become the alpha. Everyone is worried about pooping in communal bathrooms, but everyone has to poop at some point. If you're worried about the smell take some air freshener with you. Just poop.
