Over the past year, I have lost over 120-lbs. Through daily exercise and a strict diet, I accomplished this. There were so many things I learned through my journey. I did not just learn how many ounce a single portion of chicken is, or how many calories an hour of running burns. It went so far beyond the scale, the gym, the kitchen, the jean size, the sore muscles. It went to a place that changed my outlook on my life.
I learned to appreciate those who love me a little more. I could have never done this without the endless love and support of my friends and family. To the people I vented to in failure, thank you. Thank you for letting me complain to you and being there when I would ramble on about things I know you did not care about. To the people who complimented me, thank you. You're simple, "You look so good" or "Keep up the good work" meant way more than you will ever know. It was these simple messages that kept me going when I wanted to quit. It showed me that I was supported and loved along the way. And a major shout out to those who told me it was okay to have a cheat day. Life really is too short not to eat that piece of cake. Especially almond cake. I am forever grateful for everyone who pushed me and loved me along my journey. If it was not for you all, I would not be the Hanni I am today.
I learned to accept failure. Failing is scary. Let's be real here, nobody thinks "Wow, I hope today is the day I completely fail." However, failure is inevitable. It happens to everyone and we can't avoid it. So, I learned to embrace it. I learned more about myself through my weeks of failing, than my weeks of succeeding. Failing made me more determined. It made me want my end goal even more. Failing lights a spark in your life. From failure, you have two options: beat the failure or accept it. ALWAYS be the person who beats it.
I learned to put myself first. This may sound easy, but from a "people-pleaser," it was rather difficult. There were times that I turned down an invitation to work on myself. Some days,I would choose the gym over going out to eat. This was totally fine. It took a lot out of me for those words to come out of my mouth (or to text them), but it was the right decison for me. It is okay to tell people no. It is okay to help yourself. It is okay to make yourslef the number one priority in your life. This took a long, long time for me to realize. In the wise words of RuPaul, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?"
And that leads me to the most vital thing I learned.
I learned to love myself. Losing weight is truly a life changing journey. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. From the first day of clean eating and going to the gym to now, I have changed. Obviously, I am smaller on the outside, but I feel complete on the inside. Before my weight loss, I have felt lonely, never good enough, and struggled to get through day to day life. I did not just wake up one day and said "Hey, today you will start loving yourself." It took time to get to a point of contention. There are still days where I look in the mirror and immediately point out every flaw. There are days where I wear a baggy t-shirt and leggings and think of myself as the girl I was originally. Losing weight is not a magical confidence booster. Honestly, sometimes I felt more confident before my weight loss. Through time, I accepted me. I accepted my flaws and my features. I did not matter how much weight I would lose, these would always be a part of me. I am glad they are. They show me where I started and how far I have come.
Learning is just a part of life. It is everywhere. Embrace it. Accept it. And most importantly, keep doing it.
