I work for Conference Services at my school during the summer. This week I was spending some time in the office alone taking calls and such, when I hear the sound of tiny fluttering wings. Throughout the next hour, I continue to hear this buzzing, flapping noise and look around to try and find a pesky fly, but to no avail. The noise begins to drive me up the wall, so I decide to look around where I continue to hear the noise, but I don't see anything, so I sit back down. This instance happens again, but when I finally sit down again, I look straight ahead and I see something stuck between the office blinders. No, I don't see a fly, beetle, or bee; I see a tiny brown dragonfly. Not something commonly seen in an office.
Finding compassion in my heart and the strong urge to help this little friend, I made it my quest to save the dragonfly. And I decided to name him Benny.
I bend to Benny's level and put the end of a pen his way, use one of my fingers to help him on the end of my pen, and use my opposing hand to open the blinds to give him more space. Benny decides that he doesn't want my help by turning away from me and toward the glass, which then makes him fall. There is a wooden beam across the front of the window, so I cannot see Benny anywhere. I look and look, but cannot find my friend. Dismayed at my unhelpfulness, I sit back down, more disturbed when I hear his fluttering wings now. Several minutes pass and I decide that I cannot let Benny just die while I can help him, so I look harder. And then I see him! Benny is looking out the window at the end of the glass and toward the corner. I try the whole pen maneuver again, but Benny will not have it. He continues looking forward, out the window, and toward his glass-separated freedom and continually flies toward it--not knowing that constantly flying toward the glass is not going to help him. So I get up, grab a cup and notebook and head back over to Benny. When I arrive back at the spot, he is gone again. I look all over for my little friend. I'm upset I wasn't faster and I'm upset he won't let me help him. I sit back down and let a few more minutes pass by. After those negative feelings set, I decide that I will help Benny, no matter the cost. I move a drawer, our Lost And Found box, and I look for Benny. I find him further down the bottom of the window sill and formulate a plan in my mind. I try putting the cup over him, making sure to mind his wings, and I use the end of the pen to nudge him toward the inside of my cup. Benny will not have it. He has his eyes on the prize and he will keep hitting his head, wings, and tail until he makes it through the glass window. I then notice that his tail is bent and his walk leans toward the left, injuries from his attempt to save himself. I'm even more careful in my rescue mission so as to not further maim him. Eventually, through much trial and error, I get Benny inside the cup. I hastily walk outside and open the cup, but Benny doesn't leave the notebook I placed on top. He just sits there. I say, "Why don't you fly away now? You're free!" But he does not move. I then nudge him and eventually he flies away.
After my encounter with Benny, I reflected on the events that occurred that hour. Benny was so focused on the prize, he stopped at nothing to get it. But, what he didn't see is that he was only looking at the smaller picture. He tried going through the glass, he didn't see that he was in front of a window. Benny was confused because he thought he was looking at what he wanted, but he was only looking through a barrier. And when I came alongside Benny to help him, me seeing what he didn't, he didn't trust that I knew how to help him.
Isn't this just like how we are with God?
As humans, we face difficultly and think we know how to best maneuver through difficult situations. We try and try to fix things, but end up hurting ourselves. Then, when God comes along to help us, we don't trust Him. We don't trust that He can see the bigger picture and will lead us to safety.
My interaction with Benny taught me that I am just like him. I am foolish. When a struggle enters my life, I think I can do everything by myself. But I really can't. God has placed trials in my life specifically because I don't know how to get through them myself. I need to stop trying and allow Him to guide me to safety.
God has been teaching and admonishing me with this lesson so much this week. He's been showing me in ways that I can easily understand Him better.
The Bible says, "the whole earth worships you and sings praises to you; they sing praises to your name.' Selah" (Psalm 66:4, ESV). God has created everything so that they could glorify Him. The whole earth praises Him, God uses Benny to teach me more about God's character and used Benny to glorify Himself. I am amazed by how God works. I definitely don't understand, but I will actively praise and put my trust in the Lord, for He knows all.
