In late July I went with a group of friends to see a friend of ours get married. Eleven of us traveled in three vehicles from east central North Dakota all the way across Montana to Missoula.

We spent the first night with the parents of two of the guys in the crew from Culbertson, MT (just across the border from ND). One of their dad’s is a farmer, so I had a great time talking and looking at equipment. I am jealous of the wheat protein they have up there (maybe I’ll explain what that is another time). Anyway we spent the next night in Kalispell with a friend who had formerly been a Jamestown Jimmie like the rest of us.

During that second day of travel (this was a Friday), the vehicle I was traveling with decided to go rogue once we were up in the mountains on the scenic portion of the trip. FYI: if anybody ever tells you how beautiful Montana is they are only referring to the mountainous portion of the state in the far west. The eastern half of Montana has nothing, unless you enjoy looking at wheat fields and cattle, so for me it was not too bad. So when a vehicle of us flatlanders got into the mountains we wanted to be tourists so we pulled off a few times and fell behind the group by about an hour. We saw some great views, twin baby goats, a golden eagle, and touched the river. My parents have a tradition of taking pictures of each other touching rivers, lakes, or waterfalls while on their vacations so of course I had my friends take a picture of me to send to my mother. The other two vehicles apparently had a few people who were in a big hurry to just get to their friend’s place in Kalispell, which is understandable since they had not saw him in quite a while. What is not as easily understandable is why they decided to wait for us in a liquor store parking lot fifteen minutes from our destination rather than just sending us the address when they got there. Oh well, I enjoyed the trip through the mountains on my vacation to Montana.

The next day we traveled the last few hours to Missoula, and yes we fell behind again doing touristy things. By the way, the cherries at Flathead Lake are amazing, when you see the million signs for fresh cherries, stop and get some, totally worth it. Regardless we made it to Missoula plenty early on Saturday (the wedding was not until Sunday) for a night out on the town.

First we went to a social event with the happy couples’ families. That was great, both of their families were so nice and friendly, which is no surprise based on how great of human beings Emerald and Tony (the bride and groom) are. After that we went downtown for the night. The main things you need to know about that is that we did not lose anybody and we did not come home with anybody we did not bring.

The next day at about 10 a.m. we went to this awesome place with mini golf, bowling, a casino, an arcade, a restaurant, AND A BAR!!! You could take drinks with you out onto the mini golf course. It’s like adult Chuck E. Cheese except add in gambling, bowling, and mini golf. Funny side note. One friend that will remain unnamed because he now has an adult job was standing on the golf course, coffee cup with cover in hand (with a little something added to it), sunglasses on, hair in a mess from the night before, leaning over on his putter. I wish I would have taken a picture because for the rest of my life that image in my mind will be the epitome of a hangover, even though he claims that he felt ok.

After having a late lunch, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the wedding, which was on a Sunday afternoon. It was outside at a golf course, and thankful it was a nice summer day so it was beautiful (and only one person from our group cried). The meal was great, the dance was a blast, and spending all that great quality time with the friends I have made at Jamestown who I am convinced are some of the best people on the planet was worth all the driving.

But what really stuck with me most from this trip? Well for starters, downtown Missoula is kind of a strange place on a Saturday night. But that was not the most important thing I learned. My moment of enlightenment did not come downtown in a bar or even at the beautiful outdoor wedding. No, it happened in a hotel elevator, at the Holiday Inn Express on the morning of the wedding, July 24, 2016.

I am kind of a morning person, especially during the summer. I am one of those freaks who can get up every day (yes, even on weekends) at about 6:30 a.m. If the sun is up it is easy for me to crawl out of bed. So while the rest of the crew slept off the aftereffects of a downtown Missoula Saturday night, I got up, ate breakfast, swam in the pool, and sat in the hot tub. After my fun in the pool area I saw a few of my travel companions had wandered down for breakfast and wanted to take a hike up a mountain for what I assumed was scenic purposes. I tagged along, but at the top of the hike I realized their motivations for the climb had nothing to do with exercise or scenery. The other three hikers pulled out their phones because apparently there was a “gym” up there. I am not a Pokémon Go fanatic, so I had been confused for much of the climb because they kept asking each other how far up the “gym” was. I am not a hiking enthusiast either but I could see well enough to know that there wasn’t any sort of a “gym” at the top of this mountain. I, of course, was picture a basketball court or a weight lifting facility. But, sure enough, we get to the top, which is actually a big concrete “M,” and they all pull out their phone’s and start doing whatever it is all you kids do at a Pokémon gym.

However, before our hike I had to go back up to our hotel room on the fourth floor to get my tennis shoes and change clothes. It was on the way down the elevator after the outfit change that I had perhaps the most meaningful elevator ride I will ever go on.

I got into the elevator with two older couples. Not real old, I would guess in their late 60s or early 70s. The exchange that followed went something like this:

Guy in Elevator: “Are you from around here?”

Me: “No, I’m from central North Dakota, a little town on Lake Sakakawea named Garrison.”

Guy in Elevator: “Okay. We’re from Florida, but we used to live up here back before we were retired. What’s bring you to Missoula?”

Me: “A college friend of mine is getting married so a group of us carpooled out here for the weekend, made a nice little vacation out of it. How about yourselves, just back visiting?”

Guy in Elevator: “We’re up here for a funeral. It’s a fun age you’re at, weddings and babies, enjoy it while it’s here because someday you’ll be like us, catching up with old friends at funerals instead of weddings.”

I said thank you and that I was sorry to hear about their friend and that was it. The elevator door had opened and we went our separate ways. I thought about it a bunch the rest of that day and especially the next day during the long drive home. He had not said very much to me. Just a few simple words said not in sadness, but in a tone that made me think he was reminiscing back to when he was going to his friends’ weddings instead of funerals. He summarized the circle of life so well in those few words. Right now, we are young, just getting to the stage where friends are starting to get married and have children. For the next several years after college, a large majority of the times I will get to see many of my friends will be at happy events like the one in Missoula this past summer. But that will not be the way it is forever. Someday, hopefully long after having our own weddings, children, and grandchildren, I will see my college friends more often than not at sad events, like the two couples in the elevator. And thinking about that hit me kind of hard.

I am one of those people who often consumes themselves with work to the point that I think I am too busy to do anything else. I am very glad I went to Montana. And I will tell you what, if you are someone like me, listen to this if nothing else. After that elevator ride, I swear I am going to try my hardest to make it to as many as those happy celebrations as I can with my best friends. Those are moments that only come once and they do not last forever. There are only so many opportunities to celebrate, and what those couples in the elevator taught me is that I better not miss out on any of them.

So, like Charlie tweeted after the wedding:

“Someone else get married that was fun”

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