I like to think of myself as a romantic, not the kind that wants the big and grand gestures of love, but the kind that knows that love is out there, somewhere, for everyone to have and to hold and to carry on through their life. I believe in the smaller ways of showing love: the "I hope you have a good day" way of saying "I love you"; the "I saw this post and thought of you" way of "thinking about you"; and the "I saw these daisies on the side of the road and knew they were your favorite" way of buying flowers or chocolates or jewelry.

But with this, I find that my sort of love can be harmful to me - if I were to fall, I would fall too quick; fall too deep; fall into everything all at once. And when that happens and I notice that I was the only one that fell, I end up hurt and distraught thinking that I would never find a love like that again.

I don't think I am alone in this, either. I have heard television shows, like Gilmore Girls, that say things like 'your first love will always be in your heart, but you can't compare one love to another' and corny things like that. So I decided to ask my mom about how she knew she was ready to be with my dad and my dad about his passed love and talked to my Grandpa about how he 'just knew' he wanted to spend forty-eight years with my Grandma before she passed away.

My Grandpa really couldn't put his love for my Grandma into words for me when I asked him about how he knew he wanted to marry her, "We only dated for two months before I asked her to marry me. I remember that her laugh made my stomach move into knots - not because she had a terrible laugh, but because I couldn't believe that such a sweet woman could carry such a beautiful noise."

Who would have thought that just a laugh, no matter how big or small, loud or quiet, could cause my grandfather to feel so confident over a woman he hardly knew. My Grandma may have passed away when I was young, but through my Grandpa, I know that he still loves her because he can; because love is that powerful.

I asked my dad about his first love, he seemed still tied to her in some way - which I understood wholeheartedly. My dad said, "It's tough, you know, because we grew up in such a small town and we were family friends for so long. We are friends and still talk off and on - but it was just hard, you know?"

Through my dad's story, I have come to understand that love has a long lasting effect on people - as well as heartbreak. When I was younger and thought I fully comprehended the idea of love I told myself that I would try my best to not become a heart broken girl. But through my dad's smile at home and being around my mom I know that love can mend a broken heart into almost a whole one, but first love is hard to conquer.

I decided to ask my mom how she knew that my dad was the guy for her: "I had about three boyfriends before him. The one I had before him never really wanted to hangout with my family or would drive anywhere - I was the one that drove even though he had a car and made some of the plans, I was the one that drove. And he never really seemed to keep his word. But when I met your dad, he did. And he drove me around. I remember thinking that 'he is treating me way better than that other guy, I deserve this. I like this.' And I think that since I was older when I met your dad, and I had thought I knew what love was, I was able to realize that I did love him rather than lust for him."

So I guess the corny says are true: you can and probably will compare loves. But you will know when you are ready to fall too quick or too deep or dive all in when it just seems right. I sort of picture it like your bones are setting in the right places and you have a better posture and there is no more stress or issues weighing on your mind - because being with your loved one makes you feel like a better person (even though that is all you; you are the only one who can better yourself - REMEMBER THAT).

But for the times that you think that he is the right one and you fall too soon to land in a heartbroken heap, this is what I want you to do: get up; dust yourself off; move on.

"There was a point when I was broken up with because he had found another girl he liked. It killed me. But I didn't dwell on it. I kept myself busy. I picked up extra shifts, hung out with my friends and focused on me and my life and what I wanted out of it," my mom explained to me. And I know she is right.

While we may and can compare our relationships, the corny statements made by everyone who has ever felt heart break say that "time heals the heart". As hard (and very cliched) as that sounds, it is true. The further you distance yourself from the situation, the easier it is to begin to reflect on yourself and what had happened. But don't stay in the distant place for too long or all by yourself. You don't want to put yourself down a hole and you don't want to listen to the other cliched saying "Distance/absence makes the heart grow fonder". No, instead you need your friends, the ones you trust the most; the ones that would never do any harm to you and have them tell you that it will get better and have them show you that you can do this: you can live a life without him. Have them tell you "Yes, he was a nice guy, but he wasn't the right guy."

My dear reader, whether or not you are a romantic like myself, I hope you find him or her, whomever you choose to love for the rest of your long life, but know that the road to finding this person will be long and hard. But don't give up. Love is a beautiful, passionate and strong emotion we own. It is okay to release it in small doses when you feel like it is right. But don't unleash it all too soon.