You are going to form numerous relationships throughout your life. Friends, classmates, significant others, family, coworkers, and so on. It's easy to get caught up in what other people expect and want from you and to aspire to be a people-pleaser. But it's important not to lose sight of who the most important person in your life is, and that person is you. You are going to be your longest and most important relationship in life. Life can get pretty crazy and people come and go, but at the end of the day you have to be happy with yourself.
How do you become happy with yourself? Honestly, I believe that the moment you start doing things for yourself and start embracing who you are is where it begins. Don't do anything that you don't feel good about. You should be able to wake up every morning and be happy with yourself, and if you aren't then you need to make some changes. Each person has their own sense of what their comfortable with and their own set of morals and beliefs, and it's so important to stay true to those. Don't let people or the world change who you are. You are the only one who has to deal with the impact of your choices in life, so why would you ever let someone else influence you?
The choices you make in life shape you are. I'm a huge believer that mistakes are a part of what make us into the person we are supposed to be. Don't regret anything you have done because at that point in your life it is what you wanted and what you thought was right. Somehow, everyone stumbles and finds their way to who they're supposed to be.
Look at yourself in the mirror and truly ask yourself, "Am I happy with myself?" Are you happy with the last decision you made? Are you happy with the direction your life is heading? If the answer is yes, then keep going and continue to stay true to who you are. If the answer is no, pinpoint what you are unhappy with and fix it. No matter how hard you try you are NEVER going to make everybody happy, so just focus on making yourself happy and the rest will fall into place.
Every day, make sure you are happy with who you are and what you are doing. Don't let the opinions and desires of other people make you into someone you are not because the only person who will suffer in the end is you. Be yourself unapologetically and refuse to be someone you are not. And when all is said and done, I hope you are happy with yourself, because everyone deserves to live a life they love.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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