It’s October, the leaves will be changing soon, and the air has just dipped below burning hot into a crisp, cool air. We all know what that means: it's cuffing season. It’s that time of the year where all our best girlfriends seem to be adding boyfriends into their lives like a new sweater from H&M and our old flings are finding new girls faster than we can say “pumpkin spice.” With all these relationships blossoming around us, it is very easy to fall into the trap of cyber stalking our ex’s new girl or comparing ourselves to our girlfriends entering relationships while our permanent address remains in the land of the single.
But I’m here to give you a very important reminder: never ever hate on your fellow girl.
As bitter as you may feel, as much as you may still be upset with that boy (or girl) who broke your heart, there is almost never a reason to hate on the other girl or any girl for that matter. From childhood, girls are conditioned to believe that every other girl is their competition. We are called cute, dressed in pink, and told stories about princesses that were the ‘prettiest in all the land.’ All of those messages are absorbed, internalized, interpreted, and performed every day of our lives following. Somewhere along the way we begin to find our value in our looks, but more importantly whether or not we look better than the girl standing next to us. We compare our style, makeup, weight to new girlfriends and best friends. We wear things that keep our skin smushed against our body and attempt to execute makeup trends we barely know to keep up with the girls around us. We all do it. All in hopes to keep up with the trends and hopefully beat out the competition.
But what happens when we compare ourselves to one another? Girl hate. It easier to feel like you are physically superior to someone else if you hate your competition. Think about the way you make snide comments at your friends from UF about our obviously superior football team or scream profane things about the University of Miami Hurricanes when we score against them at a home game. It’s the same concept. Hating the competition makes it easier to separate yourself from the other team and forget that they, too, are human beings.
But here’s the thing: all girls are on the same team.
We need to stick up for one another. We need to encourage one another because no one understands the struggles that every girl goes through more than your fellow girl. They too face the same pains you do every day. They too have days where they feel fat or unloved or unattractive. They too yearn to be accepted and happy. We need to stop judging one another and unite against other more pressing issues facing the modern woman (ahem, gender wage gap)!
Once we stop competing with one another and start showing each other love instead, we can truly start making a difference. Now I know this isn't an easy feat. These ideas of other women being our enemies have not only been engrained in us for almost two decades but they perpetuate in movies, music, and literature. But that still doesn't mean you can't learn to change your behavior now! Try giving one girl you don’t know a compliment every single day. Stick up for women you don’t even know when you hear men saying awful things about them behind their back. Encourage your friends (and yourself) not to compare their physical appearance to other women. Most importantly, learn to love yourself as you learn to love your fellow girl. Do it for the future of society, do it for yourself, do it for your fellow girl.
