Leap of Faith
It came on as a sort of a passive aggressive declaration from my intuition; an instinctual longing for something more. My heart had its bags packed; it had said its goodbye to its favorite places and favorite people. My mind anchored itself to the safe comforts of its home harbor; uncertainty and unfamiliarity acted as the rope and knot that sought to tie my vessel to its bollard. The primordial battle between the heart and head had once again commenced. The topic this time being, transferring schools and moving 2,000 miles away from all my friends and family.
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I knew what where I currently lived had to offer. I just felt like I had outgrown my living habitat; I had become a big fish in a little pond. I went to High School in a small southern town; a place fit for retiree’s and child raising. Strangers waived to one another in passing and questions asked by elders were always answered with “yes ma’am” and “no sir!” Occasionally farming trackers had to venture onto the main road to make gas runs, consequently creating big city traffic jams. I lived on an actual island; yes! “a tract of land completely surrounded by water, and not large enoughto be called a continent.” We had a draw bridge that if opened for one of the passing sail boats, meant a hasteful call would have to be made to your employer noticing them of your late arrival. There were alligators, raccoons, deer who seemed to be attracted to the front bumper of cars, mosquitos, and palmetto bugs; which were like steroid injected cockroaches that could fly. At night you could see every constellation in the galaxy. There were ghost stories that were “swearingly” filled with truth. High school sweet hearts found themselves kissing at the alter not too long after graduation. Hunting and fishing where met with the same consistency as spin class and yoga. It seemed like everyone knew each other. I can honestly say it was a good and nurturing place to grow up, but when I found myself “up” I felt out of place. I felt like something was calling me.
It was almost four years ago today. I remember being nauseous the night before my flight. “I’m not going,” I thought to myself. “I’ll just tell my mom I decided to stay!” I mean, “I didn’t know anyone at all.” There would be a three-hour time difference from Arizona to South Carolina. I didn’t have that much money. I needed surgery for my shoulder from football. I didn’t have a car. I thought of every excuse not to get on that plane. There’s something mystical about walking into the unknown; the feeling lies between fear and optimism, reminiscent of the time period between night and day. I had entered the twilight zone. Even now as I sit and type this, I don’t know where I got the strength from to leave everything I knew behind. I just remember feeling like I knew my future if I were to stay and I didn’t want to ever look back at my life and ask “what if?” My dreams outweighed my fears and I think for the first time in life I simply trusted a gut feeling within me that very quietly whispered, “just go.”
Taking that leap of faith was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life. I sit here as I write this currently in Hollywood, California ironically even further from my parents in South Carolina. I sit here with a front row seat as watch my biggest dreams unfold. I sit here with a trivial amount of doubt in the faint presence of uncertainty with the confidence of a young lion coming into his prime. Stepping onto that plane four short years ago has blessed me much more than I could have hoped. I have met some of the most amazingly beautiful people in the world! I have had some of the most uplifting and inspirational experiences in my life. I have learned some of the most valuable lessons that I could have ever been taught. Most of all I have experienced what faith and trust can do for you. If there is anything right now in your life that you feel like you should do, but you’re worried about the “what if’s”, the “how’s” and the “when’s” … simply don’t. Something magical happens when you decide to just jump, you find out you were born with wings and you end up flying.
