Being an athlete is awesome. You get to play the sport you love with some of your favorite people in the world, and it counts as exercise, too. But what if, by nature, you are a lazy person who loves food? Here's a few tips on how to balance your laziness and food addiction with your love of sports.
1. Eating like Michael Phelps because you worked out today.
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You definately burned 10,000 calories at practice today, so it’s totally appropriate to order a large everything.
2. Working out for hours, then being too lazy to shower.
Taking a shower can seem like it’s a more challenging task than that lift you just did, so it’s okay to skip it sometimes.
3. Avoiding a flight of stairs.
Stair workouts are the literal worst, so why choose to do them in real life, too?
4. Watching people exercise and wondering how they do it.
Whenever you see someone on a run you wonder how the heck they do that to themselves, even though you’re pretty sure you ran at least 3 miles in your warm up yesterday.
5. Taking any chance to sit down.
Leg day was yesterday, so why would you stand up to have this conversation when there’s a perfectly good floor right here?
6. Not wasting any effort on dressing up.
You have practice this afternoon, so it’s fine to wear sweats all day.
7. Always opting for delivery so you don’t have to leave your room.
It’s someone’s job to drive food to you and your body feels like one giant noodle, so save yourself the unnecessary effort.
8. Pre-practice naps.
You gotta recover from the day somehow.
9. Post-practice naps.
You gotta recover from practice somehow.
10. Always driving to practice.
You know coach is going to run you at practice, so why would you run to practice as well?
11. Homework is best done lying down.
That ab workout killed you today, so don't waste the little strength you have left on sitting vertically.
12. Don’t workout unless you have to.
Some of your teammates are always working out on your days off, but you should be off doing something other than working out. That’s why it’s called a day off.
13. Always kick butt.
All of this energy saving is so you can annihilate the other team when the time comes, so get out there and show them how energized you are after your nap.
