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LaTech Summer: As Told By The Squirrels

Have you ever noticed that Louisiana Tech is the home of many squirrels? Well here's what they do during the summers.

Frededreia Willis

May 24, 2016

Louisiana Tech

Modern Farmer

Heller! Yo, peeps! It's Jimmy Squirrel. I live at Louisiana Tech in Quad Drive, Tree #4. I can't explain how excited I am that these student people have left. I can finally relax instead of having to run around them. They're loud and are constantly staring into those digital boxes, but I only have to deal with a handful of them for a whole 3 months - life for the squirrel family is all good. My furry friends and I are going to have a nutty time while y'all are away!

1. Get My Starbucks Fix

Don't worry all of my coffee fanatics, I will be holding down Starbucks, Java City and Parish Press. Just like you guys need your fix, so do we. I have to drink so much coffee in the summer, so I can have energy to deal with y'all in the fall. I am so glad I don't have to wait in line. Gonna' feel so glad for a squirrelly like me.

2. Lady of the Mist Jacuzzi Party

Ahhh! It's gonna feel so good to be chilling with in the Lady of the Mist without having to watched by the students. I don't have to worry about my Jacuzzi being filled with soap suds or my Lady being dressed all funny. I can let my tail down and relax. The only human being invited to my Summer Jacuzzi Fiesta will be Dr. Guice and only my man Guice.

3. Play Jango at Wesley

They really never let me play, so this summer is the time for me to keep my Jango Champion belt. I am going to stop by and play everyday, in peace, no human student people, no loud music, just me and my blocks. I am so going to embrace these moments.

4. Workout at Lambright

Wooooo! I can get my fitness up! Swinging and jumping from tree to tree only gains so many muscles.I'mma trying to get fit for the pretty freshmen ladies coming in. Maybe I'll take them on a good ole date to Roma's. Gonna' pump my iron and get some strokes in the pool to have my squirrel pack ready for flex!

5. Hangout with Champ

Now, you have to know that Champ and I are good ole buddies. He's like the nut to my bolt. (I know I am so punny, haha) This summer we will be able to catch up without have to pose for pictures - every five seconds. Thank you guys for going home, so I can finally continue to live my very wild life on your beautiful campus!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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LaTech Summer: As Told By The Squirrels

Have you ever noticed that Louisiana Tech is the home of many squirrels? Well here's what they do during the summers.

1. Get My Starbucks Fix

2. Lady of the Mist Jacuzzi Party

3. Play Jango at Wesley

4. Workout at Lambright

5. Hangout with Champ

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

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