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LaTech Summer: As Told By The Squirrels

Have you ever noticed that Louisiana Tech is the home of many squirrels? Well here's what they do during the summers.

Frededreia Willis

May 24, 2016

Louisiana Tech

Modern Farmer

Heller! Yo, peeps! It's Jimmy Squirrel. I live at Louisiana Tech in Quad Drive, Tree #4. I can't explain how excited I am that these student people have left. I can finally relax instead of having to run around them. They're loud and are constantly staring into those digital boxes, but I only have to deal with a handful of them for a whole 3 months - life for the squirrel family is all good. My furry friends and I are going to have a nutty time while y'all are away!

1. Get My Starbucks Fix

Don't worry all of my coffee fanatics, I will be holding down Starbucks, Java City and Parish Press. Just like you guys need your fix, so do we. I have to drink so much coffee in the summer, so I can have energy to deal with y'all in the fall. I am so glad I don't have to wait in line. Gonna' feel so glad for a squirrelly like me.

2. Lady of the Mist Jacuzzi Party

Ahhh! It's gonna feel so good to be chilling with in the Lady of the Mist without having to watched by the students. I don't have to worry about my Jacuzzi being filled with soap suds or my Lady being dressed all funny. I can let my tail down and relax. The only human being invited to my Summer Jacuzzi Fiesta will be Dr. Guice and only my man Guice.

3. Play Jango at Wesley

They really never let me play, so this summer is the time for me to keep my Jango Champion belt. I am going to stop by and play everyday, in peace, no human student people, no loud music, just me and my blocks. I am so going to embrace these moments.

4. Workout at Lambright

Wooooo! I can get my fitness up! Swinging and jumping from tree to tree only gains so many muscles.I'mma trying to get fit for the pretty freshmen ladies coming in. Maybe I'll take them on a good ole date to Roma's. Gonna' pump my iron and get some strokes in the pool to have my squirrel pack ready for flex!

5. Hangout with Champ

Now, you have to know that Champ and I are good ole buddies. He's like the nut to my bolt. (I know I am so punny, haha) This summer we will be able to catch up without have to pose for pictures - every five seconds. Thank you guys for going home, so I can finally continue to live my very wild life on your beautiful campus!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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LaTech Summer: As Told By The Squirrels

Have you ever noticed that Louisiana Tech is the home of many squirrels? Well here's what they do during the summers.

1. Get My Starbucks Fix

2. Lady of the Mist Jacuzzi Party

3. Play Jango at Wesley

4. Workout at Lambright

5. Hangout with Champ

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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