Relationships end. That was a rather pessimistic way to start an article. Let me try again. Relationships begin, and they either last forever, or they end. Sometimes the ends of these relationships are decent, but not anything that leaves you clutching your heart and crying. Other times they end in a funny way (these are rare and usually not funny in the moment but are when you look back at them). Then there are the times that end horribly and you think you won't be able to move on and go forward. Or the times when there is no explanation at all. Either way, there are usually some "last texts" or last messages associated with the end of a relationship. Naturally, I reached out to some friends to see what I could compile. Some of them are sad, some of them are funny, some of them make absolutely no sense at all.
"Congrats on the baby."
I'm not even sure what comment to make here. This one is rough.
"I would commit murder for Brooklyn Bagel right now."
Did she come on too strong? Honestly, though, it was meant to be. Whoever doesn't respond to a variation of "I need Brooklyn Bagel" with bagels is not someone you need in your life.
"Okay."
This one is just sad. I don't know what proceeded it, and neither do you, but you know it probably wasn't peachy.
"Lose my f**king number."
Yes, girl. Fierce and final.
"Hey dude I know you said you had a lot going on this week so to cut to the point your dick gave me strep so I'd go to the doctor if I were you. PS: You better not have chlamydia."
I cannot breathe I am laughing so hard. Like I started to wheeze as I typed that. Thank God for my friends. Side note, she is in impeccable health. The jury is still out on him, though.
"You have the mentality of a 45 year old divorced man with an alcohol dependency who also went to war."
I feel like it's important to note that the girl who received this text is 21. Everything else is accurate though.
"I wish you well."
This one is just plain sad. So final in a "I'm going to try and be positive way," which really means this person hurt them.
"You don't know me."
And I suppose that is why the relationship didn't last.
Yes, the whale emoji. This was actually the last text. I have no idea why this person sent this specific emoji, or an emoji at all, as this was not relevant in the context (or really any context). I assume they have poor communication skills, cracked under pressure, and just pressed a random emoji. So, I give you this: poor communication skills, an ended relationship, and an emoji created by Apple. Kind of sounds like 2016 in a nutshell.
There's nothing like wrapping up the year the same way these relationships wrapped up: poorly, sadly, and with a little bit of dry humor.
