Tomorrow is the last time I will fly from home, and go to college. The last grain of sand is no longer in the upper chamber, and it is just falling through space before hitting the rest of the sand that has been waiting for decades for its duty to end. Alas, the final semester has presented itself, and with it an eerie sense of doom. I find it hard to explain, but it is deep at the core where I feel it the most. Some might say that it is because of the environment, where it is hard to have a smile on one’s face because of events that test the very essence of reality. To that I say, “quite possible”, but it has to do with a great many things. I don’t mean to discriminate, but many will probably know where I come from, but when one is an only child, things between three people can get pretty tense.

I never looked into it, but it is quite interesting to me how I can count all only child friends I have with just one hand. Naturally, after guests left the house, my family went back to old routines, and I for one was not really diggin’ the whole high school feel to it, so things got a bit out of hand and drama flooded the days, so just three people in confined quarters, its not going to be peaceful waters for long. In my case, it has a bit more of culture shock I than others, but that could just be me. Sometimes, parents tend to go their own angry way, and finally when they need to blow some steam, you’re the closest ear. Being a middleman sometimes becomes a little to literal. But, let us be honest, I have no idea what the hell I am talking about, I am no parent. It’s just a feeling I get, and as I said, I do not intend to be anywhere that reminds me of high school.

What got me recently was a bit of a combo meal. Let us say a two for one type of scenario. On the one hand, anybody I came in contact me would immediately start it off with shit about the elections. Secondly, from my inner family mostly, was the long and tiresome questioning about the days to come after graduation. An especially awkward memory I will now have was how the neighbors came over to visit and say hi, and the wife asked “Who did you vote for Janine?”. My mother instantly told her how she was not going to answer and “we will change the subject”. If your mother is a teacher, sometimes it comes out. But rest assured, this was the first was so sudden against another adult with no connection to the school. It was hard not to yell out “Burn!” and pull a Kelso move.

On the other hand, the extensive questioning and demanding of a year after graduation plan. My parents work in that kind of way where they just need to know about every move and situation of anything planned, and they want it not yesterday, but three days ago. If you have ever engaged in anything with me, you know I’m pretty chill to just go with the flow. Make me miss a concert tho, and then you’ll regret it. But if there’s no music involved, improvisation is highly recommended. Sadly my father wants a Dossier alongside the plans, and it is quite hard to come by all of this when everyone’s natural way of things is just to hang out or go out whenever everyone is ready. So no answers where given to the whole “Where will you live? What will you do? Are you coming back or finding a place?”.

For the past week as I sat in bed and have this all happen around me, as well as four frickin’ hoes in my head where teeth used to be, has made me think of how much I appreciate where I will be the next four months. I guess college might be a bit different from an only child, but just the level of freedom that I experience there has been one of the best things that one can wish four, and somehow it has come down to the last bit of it.

It has made me realize how much I really need everyone that is there.Everyone I have met is so unique and amazing in his or her own way. It is just real, that’s the only way I can put it, real. The people and what they stand for, and the environment, and being in a huge group where you don’t stand out if you are not scared to leap into life. I have never known life without school being a part of it. It is a weird thing to put into words, because I feel bad for those who cannot afford to continue education due to complications. I do not mean it that it has been life forever in a cocky way. It has just been there, and it will be a drastic change that I am just scared of.

My father gave me a whole lecture about it, and how it will all end before I know it. I hated sitting there and taking that speech, because I had dealt with it far long before he reminded me about it. It might be the end, but I can look back and see that even though it has been short as hell, the ride has been worth it. The sea of people I see before me strikes me as bright as the sun, and I am ready to just let the last sips of it really soak in, because I will be talking about the amazing life I had, and everyone I met, before I had to actually play the game of Life. ~ad astra ultraque