Where do we retreat when we are overwhelmed by the world we live in? Is it into a closed-off portion of our psyche? Do we run back to our rooms and numb ourselves with hours of Netflix when our careful psychological balance is overturned? Parker J. Palmer author of, Healing the Heart of Democracy, writes that we (as in We the People) need a safe space for what he calls “deep democracy.”

Simply put, deep democracy is a way of looking at the world that challenges us to remain open to difficult and often controversial truths. It asks that we do not run back to our rooms to watch Netflix, but instead engage in conversation with others. When we are confronted with a challenge, much like deciding who to vote for in this election, we need to first take a step back and realize who we are and what is important to us.

The first step of deep democracy is personal reflection. In this election, I have had to ask myself many difficult questions, such as, “How do I feel about the comments Trump has made? Do they inhibit his ability to be President?” or “Does Hillary Clinton’s email scandal take her off of my ballot?” These are tough questions that can only be solved with a level of introspection. However, maintaining a time where I am not free from the opinions and tellings of others and the media is difficult.

Social media is blanketed with sound bytes, pictures, and political advertisements for both candidates. Additionally, it more often seems like “the media define reality," according to Palmer. Our country’s media services often do us a disservice by being politically biased, pandering to the people, and often neglecting to provide a holistic picture of current events. Take for example the re-opening of the Clinton E-mail scandal by the FBI. One article on FOX nearly called her a convicted felon, while one article posted by MSNBC downplayed the whole issue as one that had largely been assumed anyways. This is an example of two very different spins on the same story. How am I supposed to sift through this biased wastepaper and find the truth?

The final step to practicing deep democracy, and what I encourage many of you to do leading up to the election, is to find someone and talk to each other. Ask for one another’s opinions, and don’t try to convince one another you are right or wrong. Instead, “speak from yourself to the space between…” as Palmer says.

Good citizenship is not only when we engage in politics, but also when we choose to treat one another with openness and respect. Just like the civil rights movements of the 1960’s, social change begins with a common idea shared by concerned people. There is power in speaking truth to one another, in learning what is important to each other, and in practicing deep democracy. Anyone can complain about the current state of our political affairs, but I have often heard it said that “our politics are only a reflection of ourselves.”