When I was little, my dad stopped the car abruptly while on the way to our river house. I was sitting in the back engaged in a Disney movie and figured it was just another one of the many pee stops we would make, so I didn't even bother to look up… until he signaled me to get out of the car.
"What are we doing?" I questioned, after getting out to see that we were surrounded by woods in the middle of nowhere. "Look up," he replied.
I look over and up to see a tall wooden fire tower that firemen would use to watch out for wildfires- with nothing but a broken and rusted "no trespassing" sign, dangling upon its entrance. "Come on, let's go!" He excitedly shouted at me. My mom stayed in the car, rolling her eyes and shaking her head in disapproval while trying not to let me see the joy and laughter in her eyes.
I am an only child and extremely close with my parents. My dad has always been my best friend and partner in crime, as well as a complete role model. He always encourages me to try new things, challenge myself, and never let the kid inside of my soul die. He continuously pushes me outside of my comfort zone and motivates me to be the very best version of myself possible. I guess he saw this situation as a teachable moment for me.
We plow over the sign and start making our way up the tower. He let me go first knowing if I fell, he would be right behind to catch me. Believe it or not, safety is his biggest priority; I have always seen him as a strong and heroic Hercules-type figure. I heard the boards start to creak under my feet as I made my way higher and higher up the winding ladder.
Being only about 9-years-old, I tried not to look over the edge to more-easily ignore the raging pit of fear in my stomach.
A quarter of the way through, I almost gave up but didn't; I wanted to show him my capability and strength of mind. This was one of his lessons: he wanted to relay the concept of mind over matter to me. I am always determined to show him that I am the most badass girl in the world, mainly thanks to his daring parenting tendencies, so I pushed through. He patiently guided me to the top with thoughtful words of support like "keep going sweetie- you can do it." Boy let me tell you, the view was beyond worth it and we felt so on top of the world. Hand-in-hand, I looked at him in awe and dreamt of one day finding a companion to take up there.
Since then, I have only brought two boys to the tower.
The first boy I took to there was my first love.
We were young and naïve, but supposedly so in love. Although this relationship was emotion-driven and impractical, I thought it would last forever. Pushing a future, I brought him to the tower and stressed how important this moment was to me along the way. We almost made it to the top but failed to do so because of his extreme fear of heights. I overlooked the flaw that he couldn't manage to make it all the way because I didn't want to ruin the movie-like picturesque scene that I had created for us in my head.
The second was my hard love.
While he loved climbing the tower and was seemingly having such a blast, we didn't make it to the top either. He indeed brought out the kid in me but after a generous amount of climbing, he got bored and was ready to move onto the next thing. I wanted him to make it so bad that I tried everything in my power to persuade him to keep going, but it didn't work. It felt unnatural and forced.
I realized that these tower-climbs were very symbolic of each relationship.
It is said that you fall in love with three different people in your lifetime, each for a different purpose. Every bad decision or unsuccessful relationship I have had will lead me to my third love, and future soulmate. The past has taught me hard lessons in order to show me what I deserve and want in a partner for myself in the future. There has been, and will be, many more "loves" along the way that hide in between these main three, but will never even make it to the tower.
The third person I will bring to the tower will be my last love.
It will be the easy love I don't see coming, or "true love." They will be eager and willing to make it to the top with me. He will not let his fears - whether it be of heights, or commitment - get in the way of our journey together. We will make it the entire way, to see what is in store for us. This will happen both during the climb and throughout our lives together. My final love will work hard to keep it going, no matter what obstacles we may face. He will bring out the kid in me, but also be mature enough to finish what he started... just like my father.
Thank you, dad, for showing me that guys in the world like you do exist. I love you taller than a tower.
