These past couple of weeks, I have struggled. Mostly with fear of the future. If you were to know anything about me, you would know that I like to plan things and have them go accordingly. This past week especially, really seemed to want to test me in a way that was pushing my buttons.

I have made some very important decisions within the past couple of months and because of this, the next half year is going to be completely different than what I have gotten used to. Or, at least that's what I have been hoping. I have been doing things in order to prepare for these changes and yet with everything I do, something always gets backfired.

This week was especially hard for all of these things to happen considering that it was the week I got back from my spring break.

A couple of days ago, I got extremely upset and full of anxiety because I didn't know what was going to happen within the next few weeks and if things didn't go as I planned, my original plan would be a complete disaster.

There is something that I found sometime last semester that has been sort of my anthem since coming to college. I know I've already written a post about this but with everything going on and everything being so uncertain, I feel it appropriate to kind of reiterate on this subject.

The verse that comes from Psalms in chapter 46 on verse 10 that states "Be still and know that I am God" is something I think that we can all take from this. You don't even have to say the whole verse but to just say, be still. It sets itself up to be this peaceful reminder that sometimes, I am not in control of my life. It's a peaceful reminder that, no matter how much I spend planning and no matter how much time I spend trying to make everything perfect, sometimes, it doesn't turn out that way.

It's one of those things that I wish I could fully conquer but after almost 9 months of trying to overcome that feeling of anger, angst, and frustration, I still find myself struggling with this.

I think everyone struggles with this though as well. You may not be in the same exact situation as I am but I think it's safe to say that sometimes, God likes to throw us a curve ball and catch us off guard. He doesn't do it intentionally but to remind us of how somethings, are not in our control.

With this, comes patience. I'm also one of those people that if I get things going, I don't want to wait. I want them to go ahead and be the way they are supposed to be and not have to deal with the process of doing it. If you couldn't tell already, I don't cook.

But patience is and probably always was the thing that I struggled with the most. Whether it be waiting to go over to a sleep over or waiting on a certain letter to arrive at my door. I hate waiting.

I believe that with waiting, though, comes knowing and coming to terms with the fact that sometimes, you are not in control of your life. This is where be still comes into play.

I don't know why but this reminds me of riding a bike. Sometimes, life gets you going and going and going and then you get to the point where you're going to fast and there's no way of stopping unless you want to crash into the pavement. I know that you know what I'm talking about.

When life gets like that, it's important to remember those two words. Be Still. For me, this means stopping everything that I'm doing, closing my eyes and reminding myself that there is a God who is greater than everything that you are facing right now.

I know that it's get very monotonous hearing things like "God's got a plan for you" and other things like "Just trust God". So, instead of hearing those things, think of just 2 little words. Be Still. Know that there is a God that is taking care of everything involving you life right now. Just know that.

Much Love Always. -Addison.