We live in a generation that focuses on beauty in such a rare way. Magazines and television shows portray the “pretty girls” as 5 foot 10 inches, size zero pant size and rock hard abs that will forever seem impossible to “normal”-sized people. And it doesn’t stop there.

If we find someone attractive or someone we like and they are involved with someone else, we try to make ourselves feel better by saying things like, “I’m so much prettier than her,” “Look at her rolls, so disgusting,” or, “All that makeup hides what she actually looks like." Every girl with an Instagram has done it; I am no less guilty than the next person.

But in a generation that forces the idea that tiny waists and perfect contour lines is the ideal body image, our self-reticulation and body-shaming others only keeps the trend going. According to HeartOfLeadership.org, “seven out of 10 girls believe they are not good enough,” and, “98 percent of girls feel there is an immense pressure from sources to look a certain way." So pretty much, if you don’t look like the models in magazines, you are less than enough. And it only makes it 10 times worse when all the girls around you are judging you for every imperfection that you’ve already critiqued about yourself.

So my advice is this: let’s stop breaking each other down and focus on building each other up. Be confident and help your friends feel confident. At sleepovers, formals and wine nights, you will see girls stand in front of the mirror and tell themselves they are fat, ugly, pimple-faced, etc. Let’s be the girls who tell those friends that they are beautiful, inside and out; let us be the friends who support each other and make each other feel stronger.

Also, it’s not only important to be a friend to the people around you, but also be a friend to yourself. If your body is hungry, please feed it nutrients and food. If your body is thirsty, please give it water. Skipping meals or snacks will not make you happy. It will not solve all of your problems. Please, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Remind yourself every single day that you are strong, smart, capable and extraordinary. Put on your favorite outfit and rock it, and then pass on the feeling to the women around you. It doesn’t matter if you are five foot wearing a size six jeans or a tall, thin girl wearing size zero—every woman is beautiful and deserves to feel beautiful. Don’t fall into the media’s trap. There is no ideal size. There is no ideal anything. The best thing you can do is to put a smile on your face and spend your days building yourself, and everyone else around you, up. Be a friend, a supporter and all-around amazing person.