I recently found an article entitled "Ladies, Nike Shorts And Leggings Are For The Gym, Nowhere Else." As someone who wears both fairly regularly, of course I decided to give it a read. In this work, the author listed all of the reasons she believes it is inappropriate for someone who calls herself a lady to dress in overly casual apparel in her every day life, and that there is a certain amount of effort put into one's appearance that is deemed "acceptable." To the author, I give this feedback: I respect your lifestyle choices, but I expect you to respect mine.
I applaud you for how much you care about your appearance. Do I wish I had the motivation to dress nicely and do my hair every day? Of course, but the simple fact of my life is that I don't. My time is much better spent planning out my day, thinking about all of my assignments, and channeling my energy into my education than showering "up to three times a day" and worrying about how anyone else thinks I look. Do you know why? Because it is absolutely no one's business how I dress but my own. You have no right to impose your excessive personal beauty standards on other people. End of story.
I will agree with your "in order to feel successful, you must look successful" mantra to an extent. In an interview, a shift at work, or a presentation, it is in one's best interest to dress nicely because most of the time, it does set the successful apart from the average in these situations. However, in everyday life, what makes a person successful is their work ethic, not their appearance. Not a single one of my accomplishments has been achieved in business suit. The behind the scenes of scholarships I've won and jobs I've gotten has been done primarily in leggings and Nike shorts, and I doubt anyone would take them away from me knowing that because they know what a hard worker I am. If wearing sweatpants and an old t shirt instead of the jeans that you feel "need to be worn" causes you to suddenly stop putting effort into your life, I think you have a much more serious problem than vanity.
If you need to go through a rigorous beauty routine and dress nicely every day in order to feel beautiful, then more power to you. You have every right to feel beautiful, in any way you want. I've never had motivation to do all of that, and I'll be honest, it took me a long time to feel that I was beautiful without it. But now, I do. I find beauty in myself every day, whether I'm dressed to the nines or wearing the clothes I slept in. This is how I feel beautiful, and I dare you to try and tell me I shouldn't.
I am not condemning you for putting so much effort into your look. Keep doing it, it's something to be proud of. What you need to do is realize that no one is obligated to do the same. Not everyone was raised with the same values as you. You're entitled to your opinions, but you aren't entitled to superiority over those who aren't like you. Young women struggle enough with meeting beauty standards and and low self esteem as it is, and judging someone based on how good they look instead of how hard they work makes you part of the problem.
I'll end with this:
Ladies, it's time to grow up. Let's start by leaving our obsession with how other people look and our childish judgments in high school where they belong.
