"I've always believed that one woman's success can only help another women's success." -Gloria Vanderbilt.
Raise your hand if you have ever been envious or competitive with someone you knew.
Everyone should be raising their hand because we are all guilty of doing this at least once in our life, if not more.
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For myself personally, I'm a stubborn, competitive, hard-nosed girl who despises being in the shadow of others when I know I can rise to the top and shine. But anyone who has ever been competitive in their life has at some point felt this way.
All my life I grew up in a competitive environment.
Sports? You bet. Dad, I'm talking to you.
Politics? Don't get me started. Dad, I'm also talking to you here too.
Fastest one to complete a series of books? YEP. That's all me.
Everything was a competition for me.
Someone's running faster than me on the treadmill at my workout? You bet I'm going to turn up the speed.
Someone scored a better test score than me? You bet I am going to be hitting the books until I have the best score for the next test.
I had a strong opinion, and I still do to this very day. It's a fire that just won't go away within me, which I love about myself.
But being competitive has its drawbacks.
I'm talking not even wanting someone to be better than you — so you do whatever you can to not make that happen kind of drawbacks.
Being so competitive you start to compare yourself to anyone and everyone — simply because people have compared you and because you intrinsically want the best for yourself.
You want to be the best, and you see that if someone has the slightest bit of success, you instantly want to top it and be better.
Although wanting the most success for yourself is never a bad thing, there comes a point where your obsession to be the best above all others becomes negative, your life becomes a constant internal battle and you bring others down in the process — not good.
In today's society, the rise of social media, magazines and instantaneous news about the latest celebrity gossip or what your "frenemy" had for her lunch today become this vicious cycle of negativity.
Comparisons form, and someone you might have adored or loved becomes your next source of competition.
"Oh, she has a better wardrobe than me."
"Her job is so much more entertaining than mine. Ugh, her life is just so perfect; why can't mine be that way?!"
What ever happened to support, love and compassion for each other?
In this cruel world of hypocrisy, hate and unfairness — why don't we ladies join together and work together?
As someone who has lived through being spiteful and competitive with other women, I have since realized that it was getting me nowhere in life further than a sour taste in my mouth and a really bad intrinsic feeling.
Transforming from a girl to a woman is when you genuinely feel happiness in your heart and soul when another woman accomplishes something huge — whether it be an award, a project or campaign or landing your dream job. Being happy for them and supporting them is the best avenue you can take.
Never be spiteful, jealous or tear them down. Think to yourself, would you want someone to do that to you on your special day?
Yes, there are some times where you can't help but speak your mind because someone may have not deserved something or simply because they are the fan favorite despite their fake front, but keep your mouth shut and just smile.
I've definitely learned that the hard way.
"Girls compete, women empower."
I highly recommend reading "Girl Code: Unlocking the secrets to success, sanity and happiness" by Cara Alwill Leyba.
It's a great story on how women entrepreneurs everywhere are seeking the secrets to success and happiness. She talks about the importance of finding other women to empower and to show up for.
She writes about how we need to stop putting on a display of perfection and tell the messy details of how everything came to be in each others life.
It's a great book with a lot of great insight from Cara, a successful author, life coach and blogger of The Champagne Diet.
If you are feeling that you are unable to support and share happiness and success with other women without feeling competitive or jealous — please, please, please read this book.
Read every inch of it and read it again.
Be happy for the success of other women because we truly are all wonderfully passionate and incredibly hard workers.
Never rain on someone's parade — rather, shower them with support, positivity and love.
It's the best we can do for each other.
