All my life I've been a busy body, spending a majority of my time juggling school and sports and extra groups along with work. My dad, an avid know it all, instilled in me the desire to learn constantly at a young age. Paired with my love for learning was my urge to be hands on in basically anything I could get my hands on. My parents being separated and living with my mom taught me that a girl can do anything a guy can do, plus more. Being born in '95, I was (and still am) being raised in a world that is constantly creating new technological advances; being as curious as I am, I would spend hours toggling with the computer 'til I passed out on the keyboard!
While all these great characteristics were growing in me, it created the biggest challenge I face today. I lack the feeling of content.
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It's odd when you take a step back and think about the process of raising a human being. We spend the first seven or eight years teaching a person how to speak and walk, and then we spend the next nine to 10 years telling them to be quiet and sit down. After we've conditioned ourselves to being taken care of and having a majority of our choices made for us, we are forced to make one of the biggest choices of our life.
I've always loved school. School was easy. I brushed through regular classes waiting for a section to spike my interest. When I had questions on things, I found the answers. Still, it was never enough. I wanted to learn more and know more and be more. I wanted to be in more groups and have better grades and play more sports. In high school, everything moves so fast. Those four years feel like four minutes when you're walking away from the castle for the last time. The hardest part of collegiate-level schooling is the options. My love for the computer system stemmed into a love for graphic design, which I studied at NIU, until it wasn't enough anymore. Cosmetology school soon took its place, a year and a half and a degree later, I can tell you all the bones in your face and work magic with a pair of shears, but again, I'm not content.
There are so many job choices and so many things I love to do. How is it possible to choose just one? Welcome to a life of no content. I sit here and think, "What if I go to school for this? What if I started doing this? I love doing this anyway, why not make a career out of it?" Heck, by the time I'm 30, I'll have six different degrees. I guess I can partially blame growing up with brothers for my competitiveness. I want to be the best at everything I do, and I want to know how to do anything.
I think the 20-something years are the worst for a person who can never be content. It's the stalemate portion of your life, the in between years. The years when you're kind of expected to be getting your shit together but don't have the funds or knowledge to do so. I constantly find myself feeling anxiety ridden over still living at home at 21 and only making minimum wage. Wanting to be independent but barely making it the whole time.
So this is for you, 20-somethings (or anyone else) who's constantly feeling uneasy. You're not alone. It's okay to want a steady career, a place to call home that's all your own (and maybe a dog or two). Just know that that time will come. Keep calm and always keep your desire to continue building yourself. Whether it be continued education in your already chosen field or a new hobby you're interested in, expanding your knowledge and maintaining a balanced soul is far more important than the school loans you'll receive later.
