Over winter break I went to see "La La Land"—mostly because it has Emma Stone in it and she’s excellent, but also because it’s being nominated for all kinds of awards and critics seemed to love it. And for about 2/3 of the movie, I was completely hooked. There was singing and Ryan Gosling being charming and dopey and jazzy and there was Emma Stone absolutely killing it with her wardrobe and I was swept away. Then it got really stupid really fast and I’ve never left a movie theater so angry in my life.

But before I go on: SPOILERS ARE COMING, SO IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, GO OUT AND FIND A THEATER, WATCH THE MOVIE AND THEN YOU’RE WELCOME TO COME BACK AND READ MORE. THANK YOU.

I knew going into it that "La La Land" was going to be an art movie, which generally means anything goes. In a franchise action film, the viewer knows before watching that the main characters will stay alive and if there’s a love interest plotline, you can bet your college tuition that those characters will end up together, no questions asked. In an art movie, the director basically lives to get a reaction out of their audience. Sometimes this is done in a bunch of artfully subtle ways that leave certain scenes open to interpretation and invite the viewers to discuss and review the finer points of the movie. And sometimes the director or whoever the hell is in charge just decides You know what? I’m going to get this entire group of moviegoers to become emotionally invested in this story—and then I’m going to rip all of their hearts out at once. I’m sure you’ve guessed that I would put the director of "La La Land" in the latter category.

I was completely charmed with this movie up until Mia (Emma Stone) and Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) have their first on-screen fight. Because of course we need to hammer home the idea that two people with ambitious career goals simply cannot be together—I mean, it’s not like we haven’t seen it about 9,001 times in numerous creative mediums. And then things get tedious—he lets her down and she decides she’s got to grow up and get a real job and rebuild her life without him, etc. etc.

Then Damien Chazelle decides to punch everyone in the heart by giving us hope—a cheap shot, really. Because after you give an audience two people with that much onscreen chemistry, we’ll jump at any chance to see them live happily ever after. So when Sebastian redeems himself and helps Mia get her dream role and they say that they’ll always love each other, we all secretly think we know what’s going to happen. We think the screen will say ‘5 years later’ and we’ll see Mia and Sebastian, now officially an actress and jazz club owner, respectively, living their life together, because how could it not end this way?

But it doesn’t end this way and I almost chucked my popcorn at the screen and left the theater when the camera panned over to show Mia kissing her husband—who is not Ryan Gosling—on the cheek and her infant daughter sitting on their living room floor.

And if that was a cheap shot, then that stunt with the pretend epilogue where they show how Mia and Sebastian could have ended up was the equivalent of shooting your opponent in the back and kicking them while they’re down. It felt like the end of the play Sweet Charity, except I felt even more betrayed.

I’m sorry, but if I’m going to be emotionally destroyed by a film, I don’t want to be charmed by the music and set design first. I don’t want to be lulled into a false sense of security only to be blindsided with the director’s reminder that ‘life isn’t fair.’ Because I already live in the real world and I’ve already come to the realization that it isn’t fair. It’s actually not much of a groundbreaking revelation.

Honestly, I thought the movie wasn’t bad overall. I was enchanted and engaged throughout almost the entire thing and there were some excellent lines and plenty of bits that would spark friendly film discussions. But they got highhanded and ended up overshadowing all that by making the ‘big point’ that ‘life doesn’t always go the way you think it should.’

Yep. That’s what they went with for the ending.

They destroyed me emotionally and mentally for ‘life isn’t always fair.’

And I cannot forgive that.

But I can forgive Emma Stone because she’s a gem and I want to dress like her character every day, even though I live in Michigan and this morning it was 5 degrees with a negative 8 wind-chill.

And now I need to go watch a good rom-com to make up for all the ridiculousness that this movie freaking put me through. "Leap Year" will never let you down—remember that.