Recently, I've heard a lot about love languages and how couples are being positively impacted by knowing how to make their partner feel loved. There are infinite ways to show someone you love them, but knowing which category your partner is most impacted by will make both of you happier in the relationship.
What is a love language?
A love language is a method of showing love that most directly impacts someone. Gary Chapman wrote on a book on the topic of love languages, and developed an online quiz that you can take to discover your love language! Chapman explains that most people love others the way they preferred to be loved. For example, if your love language is acts of service, then you often perform acts of service for others to show them you love them. However, this way of showing love can be ineffective because your love language might not be the same as your partner's. The best way to love someone is to learn their love language and learn to love them the way they want to be loved.
1. Words of affirmation
This is one of the five defined love languages. For someone whose love language is words of affirmation: words > actions! This person feels most loved when showered with compliments, words of adoration and affirmation, and encouragement.
Ways to make your partner feel loved: compliments, telling them you love them and why often, thanking your partner for doing things for you, etc.
2. Receiving gifts
The second love language, receiving gifts, is pretty self explanatory. For someone whose love language is receiving gifts, they feel most valued and important when their partner goes out of their way to get them a gift or token of some sort. This isn't materialism or selfishness -this person feels loved because of the thoughtfulness, effort, and love put into picking out the gift.
Ways to make your partner feel loved: buy them a meaningful gift, surprise them with a small token of love after a hard day, never forget a birthday or anniversary, put serious thought into purchasing a gift for your partner, etc.
3. Acts of service
For someone whose love language is acts of service, they want their partner to do something for them that would ease their stress or relieve them of some of their responsibilities. Laziness, broken promises, and creating more work for them are things that make these people feel very unloved.
Ways to make your partner feel loved: do household chores for them, cook them dinner, help them with whatever it is they are doing, help relieve the stress of partner, etc.
4. Quality time
Those whose love language is quality time really value meaningful alone time with their partner. They want to be listened to and they want their partner's undivided attention in order to feel loved. They don't like being ignored, nor do they like canceled or postponed plans.
Ways to make your partner feel loved: being there for your partner, never be distracted while talking to or spending time with your partner, really listening to your partner, etc.
5. Physical touch
The final love language is physical touch. Those whose love language is physical touch value touch more than anything else and feel most loved while being touched by their partner. Physical presence is also very important to these people and forgetting to be intimate with your partner could destroy the relationship.
Ways to love your partner: hugs, kisses, holding hands, pat on the back, thoughtful touching, etc.
