Why me? It was the typical question I would ask myself, as a dramatic teenager, when I would find out that one of my close friends had to leave. Whether it was for their dad’s job or a citizenship problem, apparently, my friends “had to leave”. I remember a total of eight close friends who moved away. That’s quite a lot of people and quite a lot of farewells.
After developing such close relationships with these friends, saying goodbye was heartbreaking. So much so that it made me question whether the friendship was worth the heartbreak. If I had known they were going to move away, would it have been worth becoming friends with them in the first place? If I had known, should I not have developed as close of a relationship? If I had known, would every moment have meant more?
The endless questions permeated in my head, until I realized how selfish and thoughtless I was being. Who cares if you know there’s an end? That doesn’t mean a relationship is worthless; if anything, it makes it more worthwhile knowing that there is going to be an end. The limited time makes you cherish more, appreciate more, and love more. It justifies staying up all night talking at sleepovers, going on random adventures at the most absurd times, and seeing each other every, single day. Because really, the defined end makes every day, every hour, and every minute so much more precious.
For the first time, this school year, one of my close friends actually warned me that she will be transferring by the end of our second term. After going through eight close friendships of not knowing that there was an end, it was my first time realizing I had the choice of minimizing that pain I was so afraid of before. Nonetheless, I said f*ck it.
I said f*ck it because I really love this friend and know that there won’t be anything to regret. It took me years to realize that every friendship is valuable. Don’t be afraid to develop an intimate relationship simply because you know that there’s an end. The conclusion only makes the relationship even more beautiful.
