You may have heard it said before -- "You deserve so much better!" or "He doesn't deserve you!" or even "Don't waste your time with him!" And while you may have just brushed it off and moved on with your life, I'm here to tell you to stop what you're doing and think for a moment. Think about why your family or your closest friends would say these things to you. Think about the motivation behind their words. I'm sure they're not saying these things to hurt your feelings or to put doubt in your head for no reason. If they are getting a negative vibe from the guy you're dating, there's a 99.8769% chance he's not the right guy for you. And that's okay. Not every guy you date, no matter how much you think you love him, will be "the one." Even if you think there's the slightest possibility that he could be "the one," it is imperative that you honestly evaluate him, the relationship as a whole, and how your family and friends truly feel about him. And while the truth may hurt, it can and will set you free. So if you're in a relationship right now, and you have even an ounce of doubt about him, ask yourself these questions.
Do I feel truly cherished?
Do I feel adored? Appreciated?
Does he actively communicate with me?
Does he give me the emotional and physical attention I require?
Does he make sacrifices for my happiness?
Do I feel like the relationship is one-sided instead of a two-way street?
Does he respect me and my feelings?
Do I feel safe and confident when I'm with him?
Do we have the same morals and values?
Do our families/friends completely support the relationship?
Can I trust him with my whole heart for my whole life?
If you really dug down deep and answered "No" to any of these questions, I urge you to seriously reevaluate the relationship. It is so easy to wear blinders when you are in love with someone. It is easy to look past what may seem like minor flaws. It is easy to accept less than what you deserve because you can't imagine your life without them. And it is easy to pour 100% of yourself into a relationship that isn't pouring 100% into you. But if you settle for "easy," you will never be truly happy. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication on BOTH parts to make a relationship successful. And it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself, and what you know you deserve.
You deserve to be chased after, no matter how long you've been with someone. You deserve to be spoiled, not just with material things, but with love and affection and emotional support. You deserve to be given the time of day. You deserve to be happy with the person you're with. You deserve to trust them and be trusted in return. You deserve to wake up every day excited to be with the person you're with. You deserve to have the confidence that they will honestly communicate with you on all possible topics, and that they will keep nothing in their lives a secret from you. You deserve to be cared for when you're upset and cuddled on your brightest days. You, you precious, beautiful gem, deserve the world and more. And if you're not receiving it, know that while it may be scary at first to end a relationship, you will be so much better off without them. I encourage you to have the patience and self-love it takes to wait for the one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I encourage you to guard your heart against anyone who will try to take your confidence away from you. And I encourage you to take off your blinders and fully see the world around you and all that it has to offer.
A friend of mine recently quoted something to me that really opened my eyes to this situation that a lot of people find themselves in. And I hope that by sharing it with you that your eyes will be opened as well, so that you may rise out of your brokenness, and live in a state of confident bliss.
"When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."
