OK, so I guess I need to get some things off my chest before I delve into this. I’ve never been in love (as you can tell by the title). I’ve only had one boyfriend ever in my entire almost 20 years of living. It wasn’t super serious; it was middle school. Seeing as how this ties into the idea of love, I think it’s also important to state that I’ve never had a real first kiss. You know, the ones that last longer than 3 seconds. The ones you replay in your mind over and over. Like those foot-popping kisses in The Princess Diaries or all the Troy and Gabriella kisses from High School Musical. Yeah, that hasn’t happened, either. Therefore, you now have proof that I’ve never been in love.

Love is a very weird thing. I hear people use that word all the time and always wonder if they actually mean it. I mean, I love my family and friends; but that love is different from soulmates, destined-to-be-together, in love. I’ve definitely thought I’ve been in love before. I used to whip out that word on boys I never got to know or talk to. In middle school, I would’ve told you I loved every boy I had a crush on. Probably the same thing in high school. Every time it would be something like, “oh, but he’s different from my last crush; like I actually mean it this time.” And then two months later, BAM! -- I’m over them and wondered why I ever wasted a single feeling on them. Or tears. But, they never really deserved those tears (except for one person from middle school because to this day, he is still one of the most genuine, kind people I know.)

Even this summer, I had talked to guys – quite a few, actually (sorry mom and dad for finding out through this article.) They would spark my interest and we would talk for, max, a week. Then one of us would drop all contact and the cycle started over again: started talking to a boy I sort of liked, flirted, then he dropped off the face of the earth and I would never hear from him again. Each time, I would get my hopes up that maybe, this would be my second ever boyfriend and I could hopefully really fall for them. Each time, I was sadly disappointed. Some of these guys were really nice and caring and some were talking to me for the wrong reasons (I know my morals and when to call it quits.) Each time I lost contact with someone, my heart would sink down further and further. At this point, I wondered if the jokes I make about marrying my best friend would actually come true.

So here’s what I know (and from all the advice I got from friends and coworkers, it’s quite a bit): Love is something that will sneak up on you like an ax murderer in horror films. You can’t plan it. No matter how badly you want a boyfriend or girlfriend (even like, really, really badly.) You will talk to a lot of people who you’re interested in; that’s good! Just know that they can’t all be “the one.” And no one is worth over-thinking a simple text and if they stop talking to you, it’s probably for the better since they weren’t genuinely interested. Love is a comfortable, mutual thing; and sometimes you have to grow a pair and just talk to your crush. That happened to me this summer and it felt great; we got together one night with a friend and after that, I found out he wasn't into me the way I was to him. I was super bummed, but hey, it’s all going to be OK.

I also believe my faith plays a major role in how I see love, which is where some of you might begin thinking differently from me. That’s cool! I do believe that God has a plan for my life and he knows who I’m destined to be with. Maybe it will be Luke Hemmings from 5SOS. Maybe it won’t be. (But please let it be, that would be awesome.) Sometimes, this plan involves stupid mistakes and heartbreak. Sometimes, it involves you being single for seven years and never even landing a date. Whatever your story with love may be, know that everything will work out. One way or another. Trust me, I’m still drilling that into my own head.

And if you’re curious, my journey with love (wow, cringe) is still rough. I’m not currently talking to any guy and the last “week long flirt and ditch” really sucked since I was genuinely interested. No dates were executed this summer and while my hopes for my junior year of college are low. Well, they’re still low. But, who knows what will happen. Right now, I’m going to focus on love for my friends and family. Because even if those Tinder matches aren’t going anywhere, family will always have your back. I do really need to thank my friends for helping me throughout this summer and being so supportive. I know I was constantly updating you all about a new boy, like, every week, but you’re the real MVP’s for listening and encouraging me to be so brave. And to anyone

reading this, love is weird. But a good weird. Talk to your crush. Buy your significant other their favorite ice cream. Admit some feelings, heck, just go up and kiss them. It varies. Who knows what love really is but you. Stay safe and if you want to stay updated with my quest for love (maybe someday,) my twitter is @lizwentbigtime and it is sure to be stocked with tweets every once in awhile. For now, I’m gonna stick to expressing that L word to my best friend who I know would give me a fairy tale wedding if we both strike out.