This past week, I began the challenge of teaching myself how to knit. I was invited to an event and wanted to figure some of the skill out before I went into a group of people who all know how to do it (or some kind of crocheting equivalent). I was told by many people that this activity would reduce my stress and be relaxing. I am not so sure about that.

You see, learning any new skill is difficult and challenging. It took me many tries to simply get my yarn ready to knit, not to mention the actual process. If we're being honest, even my start was not technically correct, but now I have something that somewhat resembles a scarf. If scarves have the occasional thumb sized hole and an extra row magically added.

Before, I have written on failure and I think it is important in life to take opportunities that allow you to fail, but I did not want this to be my failure moment of the semester. Yet, here I was searching YouTube videos on how to knit and buying everything short of "Knitting for Dummies." And I still could not understand what part of knitting was not clicking in my head. It was honestly stressing me out.

Given that finals week is looming in the distance, the last thing I needed was more stress. Yet, I continually found myself coming back to my knitting. It was something so simple and I could not seem to figure it out.

Then suddenly it clicked.

Now I have some shallow level understanding of knitting and I am proud to say I have several inches of imperfect knitting. But that does not satisfy me. I am not at the fluid level where knitting is a stress reducer. I am not sure I will ever hit that point. I like the activity, but it is a challenge and I am a somewhat perfectionist when it comes to skills.

So yes, knitting should be stress relieving. But is it actually? Currently, I would say no. It is difficult and messy and often I catch myself making mistakes. Mistakes lead to odd shaping and weird strings. It stresses me out. However, ask me again in a few weeks and I may change my mind. Knitting is not a challenge that I am willing to give up on.