Listen I love my cats a lot I really do. There are just a few things that I wish they would stop doing.
I wish my cats would...
... Stop peeing on my things
This is George. He peed in my suitcase (yes it was full of clothes).
I understand that you get angry when I leave for school or when I do not pay attention to you and I know you really did not like it when we brought home a kitten and I know that it was rude to not consider my sister's cats feelings when I visited her but that does not mean you have to pee in my basket of freshly clean clothes. Or on my bed. Or in my suitcase.
... Please stop licking me
This is Lorelei. She likes to lick noses, eyelids, foreheads, hands. She also does not care if you're sleeping.
If I wanted to be licked I would hang out with the dog. Also your breathe smells like fish and your tongue feels like sandpaper and you lick your own butt. Its just not fun for me. I'm sorry.
... If my laptop is in my lap please don't try to lie on me
This is Mika. She is notorious for deciding when you are done with whatever you are doing.
I am probably working on something and I can not do it if you force me to move my laptop so that you can lie on me.
... Please don't bring me dead things
This is Limpy bringing my sister a bird. He is just so kind.
I know that you do it because you love me but seriously its gross and I can feed myself.
... Stop putting your butt in my face
Hey Mika I love you and I'd love it if you let me cuddle with something other than your butt.
I don't want your butt in my face this doesn't need explaining. Please just let me cuddle with your face.
... Stop fighting each other in the middle of the night
This is Luna. She may look innocent but she is actually ready and willing to fight anyone at anytime anywhere.
Really just stop fighting each other in general but especially in the middle of the night when I have to get out of bed because one of you sounds like you are dying.
... Stop being so cute
Like they're literally cuddling each other. It melts my heart.
Seriously stop making me want to drop out of college and quit my job so I can cuddle with you all the time I have things to do and I'm doing them to give us a better life.
