I Kissed A Husband...And Liked It? | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

I Kissed A Husband...And Liked It?

The remix to Katy Perry's smash hit single.

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I Kissed A Husband...And Liked It?
NY Daily News

Are y'all ready for story time? Because, this one's pretty WILDT (yes, with a T).

YES, honey I kissed a HUSBAND...who was not mine! How could I ever take an L this big? Here's how it began:

I'm with my BFF Paige in dazzling ATL over the summer,

And we hit up this bar/club called Hole in the Wall (right, why the hell was I there?). By the name you could already tell what type of men I'd meet there. Have grace on me, y'all!

We got there earlier than when the college crowd swarms in, so it was chill for an hour or so. I got all cute, and just wanted to get out the house. I'm sitting with Paige and a friend, and as this guy was playing ping pong he drops the ball he stops and just stares at me. I'm sitting there like:

He proceeds to tell me how pretty I am and asks if my hair is mine (we'll talk later about the misogynoir of that question...). I'm thrown off, so I just say thank you and move on. The night goes on, he keeps on staring! At some point he comes back and tries to spit game, which was a little flattering. He asks if he can get me drink. You know I'm too aware to let a man buy me a drink without following him to the bar. We talked, laughed, the whole nine and it was BANGING! I was into him a tad.

He asks if I'd take his number and I recognize his name when he puts it in my phone....

WE MATCHED ON TINDER!

That's how I knew him. Yikes. We matched on Memorial Day weekend & had a convo that lasted maybe 5 mins then I deleted the app. I thought "wow, out of all the bars and all the nights we are here right now at the exact same one." I told him I knew him and we laughed it off. Nothing too crazy yet.

We talked for a nice while later, and you guessed it kids... we KISSED. I'm not too proud of kissing a stranger but I'm trying to help y'all out so you don't have to take the same "L" that I did! It was a little forward for me but I thought "okay you're out of college so is this what adults do or...?" Whatever. I had a vodka cranberry & was a tad lit to really care. He told me he was celibate and said he's interested in me so of course I assumed he was single.

I left the bar and he was all over my line!!!

It was cool for the first few texts then it got annoying. At some point, he asks me "on a date". I didn't really want to go on a date at that point because his convo was way too forward. I was so lost! He told me he was celibate and wanted to stay that way until he was married so how could he be so vulgar and sexual right now? We all know I'm strong in my choice of celibacy, so when I told him I wouldn't be okay meeting him in a private location it got WEIRD. The feminist in me was saying it doesn't matter if I kissed him he shouldn't feel entitled to my body, but my sense is telling me that kissing him must've given him some impression that that's okay. I was conflicted.

Interestingly enough

As I was telling him I was not up for anything else physical aside from kissing, I search him on Twitter. He's actually a pretty well-known comedian and I already knew that. Just wanted to see what was up with him.

Looking through his tweets he talks about having a wife...

pause - DID I JUST GET FRESH WITH SOME WOMAN'S WHOLE ENTIRE HUSBAND?

I did. So, I retweeted his tweet and he replied with the moon emoji. Odd. I texted him asking if he was married. No response. I search through IG and he really does have a wife. A whole wife. Plus a child. Not a baby... a CHILD. I think his son was around 7.

You might've spit out your drink or cackled because honestly its funny in an ugly way.

Long story short

I got blocked as he realized I knew. I was so disgusted and felt SO guilty. How could someone just disrespect their wife that way? How could a man who married a woman disrespect the covenant of marriage like this? I was caught in a whole scandal y'all. Wow.


Take it from me:

Don't get fresh with strangers. They aren't always honest

Research. Research. Research. FBI status.

Ask if they're single ALWAYS. No matter how flirty they are.

I took this "L" for all you lovelies out there, so I'm hoping you got a good laugh and learn! Be careful, and take your time with people. Don't wanna be caught kissing someone's soccer mom wife or sleezy baby daddy/husband.


Pack light, y'all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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