I recently watched the movie "Bully". For those that are not familiar with the film, "Bully" is a 2011 "documentary on peer-to-peer bullying in schools across America". This film is eye-opening, heart-wrenching, and infuriating. Throughout this film, a camera crew follows bullied children around and documents what is done and said to them. The film ends with the parents of Ty Smalley, an 11-year old boy, speaking out concerning his suicide. Eleven years old.If that doesn't make your blood boil, I don't know what would.
"Bully" shows Ja'Meya Jackson, a girl who has spent time in a juvenile detention center because she was so tired of being bullied that she brought a gun onto her school bus (no one was injured). Kelby Johnson, another subject, transferred out of her school because she was bullied badly, by not only the students but also the teachers, for coming out. Another student, Alex Libby, suffered the most on-camera abuse, being the object of violent physical and verbal abuse on his school bus. High school students said things like, "I am going to kill you" and called him names including "bitch" and told Alex that "he was their bitch." His situation escalated so badly that the camera crew shared the footage with his parents, who didn't understand the severity of the situation. His father made claims such as, "Why don't you tell anyone? Why don't you stick up for yourself?" Their inability to fathom how intense bullying could be in middle school did not help Alex's situation.
The utter cruelty of these bullies broke my heart, but the negligence and ignorance on the adults' parts was disgusting. In multiple instances, the parents and the administration refused to acknowledge just how bad it was. When the crew shared Alex's footage with the administration, the assistant principal talked to the abusers, but no punishment was doled out. I fully believe the only reason anything was done is because someone outside of the school witnessed it and had physical evidence.
Unfortunately, many bullied students don't have the privilege of having a camera crew to stand up for them. In reality, most bullied students don't have anyone to stand up for them. They're either embarrassed to tell their parents or their parents don't care. They often don't have friends, which adds another target for bullying. Depending on how long it has gone on, they know that the school administration won't do anything, for a multitude of reasons. Just because the adults can't or won't do anything, doesn't mean that you can't.
If you see someone being pushed around or ridiculed, stand up.
If you see someone being made fun of or verbally abused, speak up.
If you hear someone trashing another person, even if that person will never find out, call them out.
If you or anyone you knows does something to make someone uncomfortable, on purpose, for entertainment, you are being a bully.
Stopping bullying is hard, and it will take years of people taking a stand to lessen the problem. In the meantime, even the smallest acts of kindness can make a difference. There is a well-known story, often titled "The Story of Kyle", that speaks of the difference you can have in someone's life. The story begins with Kyle walking home from school, carrying all his books. As the narrator looks on, some boys come along and knock all of Kyle's books out of his hand. Feeling sympathetic, the narrator helps Kyle pick up his books and carry them home. That act was the beginning of a friendship that spanned all the way to high school, where Kyle gave a graduation speech. During that speech, Kyle reveals that he was planning on killing himself that weekend, and was carrying his books home so his mom wouldn't have to clean out his locker. However, because the narrator took the initiative to show kindness to Kyle, Kyle changed his mind about suicide. One simple act of kindness is the reason why Kyle is still living.
That's all it takes to stand up against bullying.
Stand with those who are being bullied. Give them a helping hand, flash them a smile. Any positive act will have a positive consequence, I promise.
Nobody is asking you to save the world. I'm just asking that you be kind.
